When Pastor Chris said, "Our expectations define our reality for us. In fact, they so shape it that we're often unable (or at least unwilling) to consider whatever it is we're seeing from another point of view," I'm sure I was not the only person who was nodding, "oh yeah, I know all about that!" I don't have time enough to list the many incidences when what I had expected to happen, what I had wanted to have happened, turned out to be what didn't happen. When that is the case all you can do at times is cry, "it WASN'T supposed to be like this!"
I'm one of those people who project 5, 10, 20 years into my future and expect my real life to be just like what I dream it could be. Once I enter that "phase" of imagined life and it's nothing like I had anticipated, I can get rather disappointed. Like parenting. I had big plans-learning a foreign language together with my children starting at age 1, keeping a documented journal of all those "special moments," winter vacations at a warm beach making sandcastles, etc.
Hmmm, I hadn't factored in that I might have to work longer hours and take on extra projects just to pay the bills when my husband was laid off. I didn't realize that snatching an extra hour of sleep was a much higher priority than journaling my daughter's daily movements. And can you say "clueless" to the idea of joint French lessons between an overstressed working mom and an on-the-go toddler?
Consider:
- Reflect on a time when your expectations were dashed.
- How did this make you feel? How did you react?
Grow
So here you are (or were, or will be). And it's completely different than what you were expecting. At this point you may find that things are beyond your control and, to throw down a well-used cliché, this is life. What now? If this is God's plan, there must be good somewhere, there must be a reason, right?
Hanging on to that hope is probably our first best step.
Read: 1 Samuel 16:1-13 [1]
Consider:
- What now? If God has a loving plan for us, shouldn't we try to see it?
- Can you remember something unexpected that also happened during an unexpected turn in life?
Theme: Living in a New Reality-Being present and mindful and not dwelling on the negative thoughts that say, "It was supposed to be this way."
My favorite section of hope from Sunday's sermon was this:
We live, if you will, in a new reality- one of life where there was death- one of hope in the face of a world which sometimes feels hopeless- one where God can use you and me to change our world- to work God's transforming love into lives of people- and see them- and you and me changed for the better!
Sometimes the idea of acceptance can be maddening. We don't have to expect to achieve that immediately. After we recognize that we do have hope in God, there are other steps we can take. After praying for hope, try praying for stillness and observation of the new situation. In quiet, we might see that, "wow, this is living and this is what I'm living through/in/in spite of (insert you own situation). This is often the moment when the acceptance we were trying for is answered by Jesus. He floods us with love, what I like to think of as God's answers. They don't come neatly out-lined and there's rarely a to-do list, but being watchful, we'll eventually see what joys and challenges are in our new reality.
Read:
- John 9:1-41 [2]
- sermon [2]
Consider:
- Taking it slowly. What do you see in your new reality that you might not have noticed at first?
- Where can you go from here? What does God need from us?
Close
When we pray, let hope speak first, then allow for stillness. Being watchful in the quiet, pray for a surprise. Try, "God's answers will come when they will."
(Say it again, a soft repetition of prayer can calm and soothe)
Prepare
As prayer is a reoccurring theme and as Bethlehem's mission is ever changing, try open-ended prayers, like, "God, I'm here...I'm listening. What do you need from me?"
Words for this week:
Monday: Ephesians 3 [3]: 18- 21
Tuesday: John 9 [4]: 30- 33 (start with "the man who had been born blind...")
Wednesday: John 9 [5]: 39- 41
Thursday: Psalm 86 [6]: 9- 12
Friday: Psalm 36 [7]: 7- 9
Saturday: John 9 [8]: 4-5