April 20, 2024 – Transforming Loneliness into Connection

As I sat at home this past Tuesday looking out at the rainy, rainy day, I was so tired and just wanted to curl up and nap all day. I didn’t want to go out in the evening and pulled the fixings for dinner out of the freezer to thaw. But then I was reminded that it was Unmapped Night in Minnetonka (all are welcome!) and we opted to keep the half thawed chicken for another night. I wouldn’t say I was particularly lonely that day, especially because caring for our joy filled granddaughter leaves no room for loneliness, but I had no energy to go out.  But then… the Unmapped reminder appeared in my email and we opted to go out to connect with this fun group of people. I easily could have stayed home, but I would have regretted missing this opportunity to be part of our Bethlehem community by the very next day. I made a connection instead of missing out alone at home.

There have been plenty of other days when I have just sat at home, lonely and alone, feeling disconnected and sad. I have a full life, yet those moments catch up to me as I would guess they catch up to many of us when I feel like everyone else is out enjoying the company of others while I sit at home alone. This sense of loneliness especially hits me on weekend nights when I don’t make plans and feel isolated. It was prevalent when my kids were little and my hard working honey was working his night shifts as an officer or had gone on a fire call. I remember feeling so alone and wondered what all of my friends were doing.  

Bethlehem’s Mental Health and Addiction Ministry is hosting an event on Wednesday, May 8 from 6:45-8:15 p.m. for adults and young adults. The Bible teaches us to “love thy neighbor as thyself”. But if we don’t show love to ourselves, how can we show love to our neighbor(s) and feel that life-sustaining connectedness that thwarts loneliness? This program is designed to help cultivate a warm, loving and compassionate relationship with yourself so that you can have the same with others. Hosted by the Bethlehem Mental Health & Addiction Ministry.  

The presenter is Sherri M. Herman, MA, Licensed Clinical Counselor (LPCC), Psychotherapist, and Spiritual Coach/Principal, Sherri M. Herman, LLC, Minneapolis.

Please put May 8 on your calendar and join us to learn 

How to Transform Loneliness into Connection – Bethlehem Church (bethlehem-church.org). I look forward to seeing you there!

I love being connected to you!

Heidi

April 13, 2024 – What Will Bring You Joy Today?

I had a little bit of an “aha!” moment last week, and it is truly making a difference in my world so I wanted to share it with you.  While I do think I’m mostly a positive person, I find I am being hard on myself lately when it comes to some of the habits I want to change or add in my life, like getting rid of stuff or eating healthier or getting more exercise or not turning to chocolate when I’m stressed. Then when I don’t succeed in changing, I shake my head at myself and feel a bit defeated, telling myself I have to do better the next day.  Can you relate?  

Then one day last week I was disappointed yet again that I hadn’t accomplished something and I asked myself, “What will I do today to fill my soul with joy?” The rest of that thought was “instead of beating myself up about what I DIDN’T manage to do”, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my soul!  I had a whole new positive approach to change. I’ve been answering myself with things like, “It will fill my soul with joy today to clean out that bookshelf in the bedroom,” and “It will fill my soul with joy to make a healthy salad for dinner instead of grabbing a premade meal,” and “It will fill my soul with joy to create a donation pile.”  I approached each task with a way it would fill my soul with joy instead of berating myself into doing it. And I also chose tasks that I felt like doing that would be joy filled instead of drudgery for me. A simple change in the way I looked at things gave me a light and happy desire to accomplish several tasks. It was so simple yet had a profound effect on me.  

There is so much pressure on each of us to achieve at high levels of production every day that we have constant expectations to produce and be efficient and be the best at everything we do at all times.  Whether we are in grade school or junior high or high school or college or go to a job every day or work from home or are raising kids or are retired, society places such high value on perfection and pure self-discipline that few of us can live up to those expectations.  I found myself being sucked into this mentality and felt the weight of disappointment on my shoulders until my little revelation last week, and now I am choosing to ignore society and ask myself throughout the day, “What will bring joy to my soul today?”  It makes me smile. And bonus:  I’m actually accomplishing some tasks.

May you find what brings joy to your soul every day!

Heidi 

April 6, 2024 – Easter Hope

What a BEAUTIFUL day Easter was! Bethlehem’s church services were joyful and uplifting, the Minnetonka egg hunt was full of happy, chattering kids with overflowing baskets, people were cheerful and together with loved ones, and everything was bright and beaming. My own little granddaughters were surrounded all day by both sets of adoring grandparents and aunties, and there was delicious food overflowing and happy family walks and games late into the night for us. My soul was singing.

Yet as I glanced around the congregation I couldn’t help but get teary-eyed and have a hurting heart. There in the pews were so many of our people who have lost a loved one this year or last year or 10 years ago. There are no time constraints on a grieving heart. Every day, whether it is a special holiday that marks time or if it is just a regular day, brings reminders of a missing soul who is no longer here to share the joys or heartaches or the blessed mundaneness of our everyday lives with us.

A friend recently reminded me that the birthday of a lost loved one is just around the corner, and I am thankful and relieved to know that information. It was not on my radar, and now I can be sure to celebrate the day with them.

I know that sometimes it is hard to know just what to say or how to approach someone who has lost a beloved person in their life, but I promise you this: talking about their person will not suddenly remind them that their person is gone. The absence becomes a constant, and simply telling them that you’re thinking about them this particular day or that you love them reminds them that you have not forgotten their grief or their person.

Celebrating the life of someone who is gone is important and appreciated. Do you know someone who is grieving? A note or a text or a call goes a long way to keeping them going as they adjust to carrying their loss through life. Being a small ray of hope and love for them may be just what they need to get through a day and remind them that they are seen and not forgotten.

May we all be rays of Easter hope to those around us.

Alleluia,
Heidi

March 23, 2024 – Stories of Hope

I recently finished a GREAT book, The Rose Code, by Kate Quinn.  It is my favorite genre of literature: historical fiction about World War II.  I can’t get enough of it!  I do branch out to other genres, only to return to my favorite when done. The basis of this book is about the people of England who secretly decoded Enigma messages sent by Germany, thus helping to bring the war to an early end.  Some of the characters are composites of people who worked at the highly secretive Bletchley Park, while some are true individuals who worked there but their names have been altered.

All of this background information leads me to one character in particular and the common practices regarding mental health back in the 1940’s and how it personally impacted my family.  The brilliant character Beth (a composite of two real women at Bletchley) was suspicious that someone was stealing information from Bletchley Park.  Suddenly, near the end of the war, she finds herself being committed to an “insane asylum” against her will.  It has been determined that she is “unstable”.  A spy within Bletchley had her committed to keep from being found out.  Just like that.  In the 1940’s, people could sign the lives of their family members or people they knew over to asylums by claiming mental instability whether they actually needed help or were just a bother to someone who wanted them out of their life.  Beth works frantically for over 3 years to get released from the asylum as she is being drugged to be controlled and eventually faces a potential lobotomy.  She is finally rescued, she escapes the lobotomy, the mystery of the spy within Bletchley is solved, the war ends and all is well. 

However, I can’t stop thinking about Beth’s plight and how it was what my aunt went through in the same era.  I have shared before that my dear aunt Arylene and my sweet Grandma were both institutionalized: Grandma in the 1930’s, and Arylene in the late 1940’s or early ‘50’s after her daughters were born.  I often wonder if it was postpartum depression, anxiety, or just what they would have been diagnosed with if it were today.  Neither of them got to raise their own babies.  My aunt was then subjected to a lobotomy, the treatment of choice at the time.  It was unsuccessful. Her life was forever altered.  

Both Arylene and Grandma would probably be living in their own homes with medical support, medication and therapy if they had experienced their symptoms in today’s world.  I will never know.  But it is a huge milestone in my own life that I can actually share their story with anyone today because of the advances made in reducing the stigma of mental health issues. I was afraid to even talk about my family history until I was an adult, even with my best friends, for fear that people would think I was mentally unstable. I truly felt like I was carrying around a dark, forbidden secret that threatened my relationships if anyone found out.

Much of my strength and confidence in sharing this family story now without fear comes from my involvement in one of Bethlehem’s partners, Mental Health Connect, and in BLC’s Mental Health Ministry. I have learned the importance of reducing the stigma connected to mental health conditions, and that there is no reason to be ashamed or afraid of my family history. 

I am thrilled that I can now actively support the ministry of Mental Health Connect (MHC) and make a difference in other people’s lives who are experiencing mental health challenges or are affected by the stigma that surrounds mental health.  There is HOPE!  

I personally invite you to make a difference, too, by joining me and other members of Bethlehem on the morning of Thursday, May 9 from 8:00-9:00 a.m. The annual MHC Stories of Hope fundraising breakfast will be held at Mount Olivet Lutheran Church in Minneapolis at that time and promises to be moving.  I have purchased a table, and Bethlehem has an additional table available. They are filling up fast!  Please consider being a guest, my treat, at my table (I have 4 open seats) and learn more about this wonderful program that helps build mental health ministries in our collaborative of over thirty churches, offers free help navigating the mental health resources available in our community, and continues to work towards the destigmatization of mental health diagnoses.  

Click  HERE  to learn more about the keynote musician and speaker (former BLCTC member!) and the delicious meal that will be served. You can also check out MHC’s Executive Director Rev. Hannah Campbell Gustafson’s amazing skill playing a surprise instrument.  You have to hear it to believe it!  

You can register on your own ($25), or contact me at [email protected] or Diane Waarvik at [email protected] to reserve a seat at one of our tables. 

With a heart full of HOPE,

Heidi

March 16, 2024 – You Can Save a Life

Many years ago, in what seems like another lifetime, my heroic sister Kristin saved a life.  She was waiting tables at the Bolo Inn while attending Stout State in Menomonie, Wisconsin.  Some of you may know it!  And one day, she made the difference in whether a man lived or died. He was a statuesque man, shall we say, and he was choking with a completely blocked airway. Kris the college student was the ONLY employee and apparently the only one in the restaurant who knew the Heimlich maneuver. The diner was so large that she couldn’t get her arms around him, so she had to talk her manager through the process and thus saved the man’s life. It could have ended in tragedy, but because one young college student had taken the time to take a first aid class, it ended in a life restored.

Every one of us has the capability to save a life, too, even if you haven’t taken a first aid class.  Did you know that our facilities have AEDs (Automated External Defibrillator) and first aid kits accessible to everyone?  AEDs are devices that talk you through how to provide life saving measures when someone has no pulse, and anyone can use one, especially if you are familiar with the steps of Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR). You simply open the case the machine is in, listen to the audio instructions and follow the pictorial guide, and take the steps that can potentially save a life.  Your adrenaline may be rushing, but you can do it! 

I challenge each of us to seek out the AEDs and First Aid Kits at our own campuses, and actually in any facility you enter.  You never know when or where you may be the lifeline for someone.  It will make their day – and yours too. Even if you aren’t comfortable using the actual AED, knowing where it is a crucial step to getting help into the hands of someone who knows how to use one but may not know where it is located in the building.

Interested in a little video on how an AED works?  There are plenty on YouTube if you do a search, and here is one produced by the American Red Cross for your viewing pleasure. It’s under five minutes long and can increase your comfort level if you ever need to use an AED.   

How to Use an AED

To being prepared,

Heidi

March 9, 2024 – We Are Here For You – Really!

I raced out of my house earlier this week to get to the hospital as soon as possible. 

A beloved member of BLC and their family needed urgent support and prayer.  Our staff knew they were in the hospital only because someone who is close to them and who is also a member let us know about the situation . The family, who doesn’t happen to belong to Bethlehem, was deeply touched that our faith community showed up for them during this stressful time.  What a blessing it is to walk beside them!  The road ahead is long and we will be there for them.

What a gift it is to the staff of Bethlehem when a family or church member reaches out to us with care and concern to let us know about a need they are aware of.  So often we find out after-the-fact about someone who needed our support but we had no idea that they needed us.  

If only we were omniscient!  It is definitely a downside of being human!  Yet with your help we can try to fill the gaps and “be there” for all of our members.  Do you know about someone at Bethlehem who needs our faith community’s support?  Please let us know! You may be the link to that person and their family that is missing.  We depend on the love and concern of our faith community to make sure we are connected to the needs of our faith family, and we are thankful when people don’t assume that we know about a need.  We would rather hear from 100 people about one member in need than to not know at all. Just call your church office number and we will take it from there.  

With grateful hearts for your caring hearts,

Heidi and the Care Team   

March 2, 2024 – 30,000 Books and Babies’ Brains

30,000. I believe I have shared before that this is the number of books my self-educated, smart, language loving Mom had neatly organized in our home when I was growing up. Yes, 30,000.   

I counted them myself (with my younger brother as we entertained ourselves ALL day one rainy day), so I know that number is true and accurate. Every room in our house had a wall of shelves holding these treasures which Mom card-cataloged by author, subject and title. Friends and neighbors even ventured over to our home to “check out” books.  The written word was her passion, and she passed that passion down to all six of her children and her children’s children and now THEIR children have inherited this love of reading as well. 

I admit that my passion for books puzzles my dear husband, and their accumulation is always an issue as there isn’t nearly enough wall space in our home to store them, but as he sees the benefits of those books through the eyes of a grandparent, I believe he has realized their importance in the development of the brains of the tiny people in our lives.  I was inspired to write about this topic because as I attempt to walk through my living room each day after putting my precious 2 year old granddaughter down for a nap, I look around and smile to myself as I see the piles of books she brings to me to read and read and read every day.  I can honestly say that we spend hours reading to her every week if not every day. I can hear Mom singing with joy in Heaven!

1 million neural connections per second.  That’s how quickly a child’s brain is developing between birth and age three according to ZERO TO THREE, whose mission is to ensure that each and every baby has a strong start in life.

“Infants and toddlers are ready to absorb new information, environments, and love from their caregivers. Those earliest days, weeks, and months are at the core of ZERO TO THREE’s work as the premier organization translating the brain science of early childhood into a better world for babies and toddlers.”  (Source: ZERO TO THREE )

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home where Mom was always singing and listening to her music on the radio and reading to us and she and Dad were talking to us and each other all the time. Dad would make up stories to tell us as he put us to bed at night. We begged him for more stories every time it was his turn for the bedtime routine. Our whole family was talking all the time, actually, and being number five of six kids I heard music and language constantly. My kids were in the same boat. Not only did I talk and sing and read to them all the time, so did my hubby, and so did their grandparents and aunts and uncles and older cousins.  Their neural connections were bursting throughout their little brains!  

This brings me to the focus of this message: that infants from the time a mom is pregnant with them to the time they are newborns to toddlers and beyond need to hear language and music a LOT in order to have a strong start in life.  Holding babies develops emotional wellness and a sense of security, and reading and music and hearing language develops neural connections that help children learn and understand and read as they get older and enter school.  The importance of this influence can’t be over emphasized.  

So remember to talk to those babies in your lives whenever you can as if they completely know what you are saying to them. They may not respond, but you can think of it as intentionally nurturing a brain. I narrated my actions all day when I was home with my beloved kids, telling them about the dishes and the laundry and their every move as if it was the height of excitement.  There was no absence of language in our home! I know more than one person looked at me strangely when I was a young mom as I walked the aisles of stores and I appeared to be talking to myself, but I was really narrating the surroundings to my tiny tots as if they totally understood what I was saying. “Isn’t this a pretty red apple?” “Oh my, look at this fuzzy pair of jammies.”  But I knew I was nurturing those precious little brains so I kept on talking. I still catch myself talking out loud in store aisles out of habit from those childrearing days.

No little ones in your world? If volunteering is your passion, preschools and elementary schools love to plug community members into classrooms to read to their kiddos. Or consider donating books to a preschool or elementary school or Sunday School program. Or support a non-profit like Literacy Minnesota . They built The Open Door Learning Center which includes a literacy rich preschool program for children 3-5 years old to attend while their parents attend language classes. You can make a difference in the life of a child without even needing to be present!  

With a few (dozen) books to read,

Heidi 

February 24, 2024 – Think of the Children First

Last fall we rented a beautiful home through VRBO in Denver with several other people for a long weekend of football and fun.  The house was home to a family of six, with the oldest child away at college.  We had people occupying every bedroom including the fun bunk room they had created in their basement.  One of the themes that ran throughout the house was the importance of family and relationships.  Family photos of their outdoor adventures and trips together lined every hallway and wall.  Sayings of affirmation and love hung above doors and on bedroom walls.  One item in particular was quite touching.  My dear friend pointed out to me that in every one of the kids’ bedrooms, the mother of the family had created a collection of famous sayings by famous people that she hand wrote and framed, creating a poster of sorts.  Each child had different sayings that were pertinent to them, and they were lovely.  It became apparent which of her babies needed words of strength and encouragement for the specific challenges they faced in their corner of the world.  Our hearts were touched.

Last weekend we stayed with a beloved family of three as we traveled to Chicago.  It was a whirlwind weekend, and we did little besides sleep in their guest room, but their home also was filled with love and affirmation for their priceless teenager.  A paper “quilt” of lovely sayings adorned one of her bedroom walls, fun and inspiring stickers and sayings decorated her bedroom door, and even the bright and cheerful shower curtain spoke words of encouragement to “Live Happy”.  Everywhere we turned in both of these homes were obvious signs of love and support for the kids in those homes.  “You are strong.” “You can do hard things.”  “You are loved.”  “Choose kindness.”  “You are cherished.”  “We’re so glad you belong to us.”

My heart is overjoyed when I think of the love and support these young people were surrounded by.  I remember the studies that were shared with us at every parenting forum we attended when our own kids were growing up and still under our roof.  The importance of just one significant adult who is “there” for a child can’t be overstated.  Not only did we encourage positive relationships for our kids with other adults in their lives, but we made every effort to be “that adult” to our kids’ friends. Statistics show that “1 in 8 children and young people between the age of 5 and 16 suffer from a clinically diagnosable mental health issue (Mental Health of Children and Young People Survey, 2018)” and with these figures on the rise, especially on the heels of Covid, The Importance of a Significant Adult in the Life of a Child can’t be stressed enough.  One of the strategies to help children who suffer from Adverse Childhood Events (ACES) is connecting them with positive adult role models.(Check out this article to learn more about how ACEs Can Be Prevented (cdc.gov))

So you may be asking how this information impacts us, and the answer is to simply be our wonderful selves and make a difference in the life of a child in our individual circle of influence. Being an attentive parent, a friend of a parent, a neighbor, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, a mentor, a teacher, a Sunday School teacher are huge ways you can impact a child today.  Being intentional about the relationships we have with our young people can have an impact that lasts long into the future for them.  Just caring about them and being attentive to what is going on in their lives is a big deal. What a wonderful gift and legacy we can leave simply by caring for a child!

I leave you with these wise words from my favorite child advocate, Mr. Fred Rogers:

“Please think of the children first.  If you ever have anything to do with their entertainment, their food, their toys, their custody, their day or night care, their health care, their education – listen to the children, learn about them, learn from them.  Think of the children first.”

(from The World According to Mister Rogers.  Important Things to Remember.  Fred Rogers)

Thinking of the children first,

Heidi

February 17, 2024 – A Simple Bowl of Soup

I’m glowing. The past two weeks The Care Ministry team held training sessions for Care Ministers. Hearts were open and receptive to learning just what it means to be a Care Minister.  We have a beautiful team of people who will be “officially” visiting members of Bethlehem who just can’t make it to church or who need a little extra TLC.  The energy was so positive and uplifting and there are still others who weren’t able to make these sessions who want to be a part of this ministry.  

This week we observed Ash Wednesday. Lent has begun. It’s the perfect time to contemplate our blessings and the personal gifts we have been given to make this world a better place.  The Minnetonka campus will be serving soup suppers each week and all are invited to join in this time of fellowship. Following services, extra soup will be packaged up and sent out to members who need to feel that little extra warmth surround them. It reminds me that all of us have the ability to minister to others who need a little reminder that we are thinking of them, and we don’t necessarily need to be an “official” visitor.  

Can you think of someone who may need a card this season to let them know they are being thought of? Do you have an extra serving of soup or hotdish that a neighbor or loved one would gladly accept as a reminder that they are loved and not alone? Can you come up with one kind act each week… or one every day for 40 days… to make this season of Lent a memorable one for one or two or forty people in your life?  Think of the love we can share this season!  Collectively we can move mountains, one little grain of sand at a time.

With a warm bowl of soup in my hands,

Heidi

February 10, 2024 – Have a Kit? Keeping Others Safe.

Four years ago, my honey and I were getting ready to head to Florida to spend a delightful week with our relatives from Norway.  We had rented a house with a pool and were SO excited to spend time together!  Then… doggone Covid hit, and our relatives faced the uncertainty of getting back into their country as borders were shutting down, so we had to cancel our trip. Definitely a first world problem but still SO disappointing.

A year and a half ago, I returned from a trip testing positive for Covid.  I didn’t feel awful, but I knew I was sick when I drove in my driveway so I tested.  It meant I had to isolate myself in the basement of my sister’s home as my mother-in-law was dying and I couldn’t take a chance of getting my dear husband and his sister sick or they wouldn’t have been able to care for her in her last days.  It was devastating to not be able to be able to be present to support them but I kept them safe by staying away.  

We are all so weary of hearing about Covid.  But friends, it is still here and changing our plans.  

I get so impatient with it, and would rather not talk about it ever again, but I remind myself that while most of us can weather the symptoms of Covid and will recover as if it were a common cold, so many people we come in contact with on a daily basis or at work or at church are vulnerable, or they care for someone who is vulnerable and their health is compromised, and Covid can STILL be devastating if not deadly for them.  

So many people in my life, including friends at church, have been testing positive for Covid recently.  It is not going away!  While it has become part of our everyday lives, just as influenza and colds are, it is imperative that we remain diligent for the sake of others.  I am currently testing this week as I have a houseful of Lutheran camp staff spending the week with us. They are here working and simply can’t take a chance on missing their recruiting meetings with potential summer staff, so I need to make sure I’m creating a healthy space for them. And so I test.

Every home in the U.S. is eligible to order an additional 4 free at-⁠home tests beginning back in November 20, 2023. If you did not previously order tests in fall 2023, you may place two orders for a total of 8 tests. I have included a link here to Order your tests at COVIDTests.gov. My cupboard is full of tests! And I am using them! There is also new information at www.fda.gov/covidtestdates to see if any old kit expiration dates have been extended.  They have found that tests are actually good beyond their expiration dates in many cases, so before you throw an old test kit away, check the site for updated information.  

Here is a link with answers to  Frequently Asked Questions | FDA about Covid and testing.  It’s good to stay informed! And it’s highly appreciated to wear a mask if you have a cold or sore throat, even if you test negative for Covid.  We all stay healthier when we protect each other.

With thanks for patience and diligence,

Heidi

February 3, 2024 – Connection is Good for Your Health

Great news! Did you know that there is a way to decrease the risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia and premature death, and it’s available to every one of us for FREE?  I’ve been reading the advisory published by Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy about the devastating impact of the epidemic of loneliness and isolation in our country, and it is fascinating, alarming and hope-filled all at the same time.  The epidemic began BEFORE Covid, so it isn’t necessarily only connected to The Great Shutdown, but a symptom of increased disconnection in our society. The answer to my question above and the epidemic of loneliness is to get socially connected!

I watch as my neighbors arrive home, drive into their garages, and go inside. I feel so disconnected from most of the people I live near. It’s a sad situation for me, as I yearn to have a neighborhood like the one we raised our kids in when they were little. We knew everyone, especially families with kids, and we were outside with our neighbors every day as we watched kids together or sat on front yards in folding chairs to visit casually. No big planned events, just bonding over raising kids and developing deep friendships on a daily basis. The kids had an extended group of adults who cared about them and made them feel loved. 

We moved when our kids were in 3rd and 5th grade, and the elders of our new neighborhood lived next to and across the street from us and welcomed us with open arms, always encouraging us as young parents and loving and interacting with our kids.  As they moved into senior housing or spent their last years in their beloved homes, new neighbors moved in.  We love and interact with our new immediate neighbors, but as houses down the block are filled with new families, we haven’t connected.  So we set out to make changes as we are now some of the “old timers”.  We built a new front patio and have begun to invite neighbors over on the spur of the moment to sit and have coffee together.  Other neighbors have begun to wander by and stop to chat.  Another neighbor invites the neighbor women over for occasional bonfires, and another friend down the block and I have made a pact to start having neighborhood gatherings for the entire street.  It’s a start! 

Last week I spent a long weekend with my Dad and one of my Amazing Sisters and her equally Amazing Hubby in Arizona.  They live in a retirement community that has an incredibly active Home Owners Association. My sister heads up the Hospitality Committee and does an incredible job.  I was excited when the soup supper they had planned for the community was rescheduled for my time there due to weather as they gather in an outdoor ramada.  I joined in the fun as I watched 140 neighbors spend meal time together.  The chatter was endless, the laughter was buoyant, and there was no loneliness in that group that day!  This is the kind of community that actively fights this epidemic of loneliness.  They know what is going on in each other’s lives and bring meals when you’re sick or grieving, deliver holiday treat bags to residents who live alone or are older, and keep an eye out for their neighbors.  Dr. Murthy would be pleased!

Making social connections takes time and intention, but the impact is huge!  The health benefits are measurable and the joy it spreads is irreplaceable. Remember to take a moment to connect with someone each day.  It will benefit them AND you greatly!

If interested, click the link HERE to read how Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy is hoping to address this epidemic of loneliness.  And if you’re thinking you would like to play a part in making a difference in the lives of those who are lonely, consider joining the Care Team and Pastors Meta and Kris TM on Feb. 8 from 6:00-8:00 at both campuses for part two of the sessions on Care Minister Training to see if this is something you might be interested in.  You can register HERE.  We’d love to have you join us!

Happy to be connected,

Heidi

January 27, 2024 – Care Minister Training. Could it be for you?

Twelve years ago at Christmas time, my spunky Mom was hospitalized in Tucson with what we thought was a minor infection or something easily handled.  She was already compromised from a stroke several years prior to this, so we thought it was just one more situation to get her through in her health ups and downs.  Mom and Dad wintered in Arizona, and whenever one of them had more serious health issues such as a hospitalization, one of Us Kids would hop a flight to be with them. We could get there pretty quickly, and it was always a relief for them to have the love and support we brought with us.  This particular time, my wonderful sister Kris hopped a flight and spent Christmas in the hospital with Mom and Dad.  She graciously put her own family’s holiday on hold, thinking she’d be turning around quickly and returning home once Mom improved and headed home.  But that was not to be the case.  It quickly became evident that Mom’s kidneys were failing, she was aspirating and choking every time she ate or drank and was informed she needed a feeding tube, and was not doing well. She was cognizant and able to tell the staff she wanted no more tubes including the feeding tube. The nursing staff gently and honestly let Kris and Dad know that things were not looking good, and this was probably the end of life for Mom.  I quickly grabbed a flight two days after Kris arrived to give her and Dad support and help with the transition to a hospice home.  Five of the six of Us Kids were able to make it to be with Mom in her last days in hospice.  It was a holy experience to walk with her as her days here on earth came to a close.

One of the things I remember most clearly and with deep gratitude during those days was  looking up one day to see Mom and Dad’s pastor entering the room.  He was only with us for moments, but his presence and attention touched my heart and reminded me that we were surrounded by a loving faith community.  Some of Mom and Dad’s dearest friends who also attended church with them stopped by to have a few last moments with Mom and to tell her how much they loved her.  My heart ached with gratitude.  The visits were not lengthy, but they were filled with love and relationship and I will be forever grateful for the love shared with us in those hours.

Mom died one evening not many days after entering hospice and we returned to Mom and Dad’s home. Dad decided he wanted to host an impromptu coffee at their house the next morning, so we pulled treats and coffee together and started a phone tree to contact friends and invite them to stop by the next morning.  The house was filled with friends who brought comfort and love and laughter and stories to console all of us and surround us with love. It was balm to Dad’s soul to have this support as he said goodbye to his high school sweetheart and the love of his life. 

I think of what an impact those visits had for us at one of the most difficult times in our lives. Imagine the difference one person can make by simply stopping to say hi and to share a cup of coffee or check in on someone who doesn’t get out or is experiencing loss or in a situation where they just need a little extra support.  Bethlehem’s Care Ministry team is hosting a two part training for anyone who thinks being that visitor who brings a little sunshine to another is perhaps their calling or their gift.  We will be offering these sessions on Thursdays, February 1 and 8 from 6:00-8:00 p.m. at both campuses.  Diane Waarvik, Polly Henderson and Pastor Kris Tostengard Michel will be leading the sessions at the Minneapolis campus, and Pastor Meta and Heidi Peterson will be leading them at the Minnetonka Campus simultaneously.  If this tempts you even a little bit, come and see what a Care Minister does and what the position entails. No obligation. We’d love to answer questions, and if you think this is your “thing”, we’d love to have you consider joining this ministry.  

To make things easy, here is the link that brings you to the registration page for 

Care Minister Training – Bethlehem Church (bethlehem-church.org).  We are excited to offer  this training and reach out to our church members who need a little extra TLC. Thank you for considering this ministry.

With gratitude,

Heidi

January 20, 2024 – The Health Benefits of Kindness

Many years ago, when my dear son was in junior high, his soccer season had just begun.  I was sitting at a game with other parent friends chatting when I noticed a new mom sitting alone and away from the group on a blanket.  I was so comfortable, and honestly I had anxiety about going outside of my comfort zone of known parents, but I got myself up after much self encouragement and went over to introduce myself and visit with New Mom.  I felt so much better after reaching out to her.  It boosted my self-esteem and I felt good about myself. Our lives ended up intersecting in many ways over the years as our kids were on sports teams together through high school and we volunteered endlessly together. We became good friends.   Many years later, long after all of our kids had graduated, I received a lovely note from New Mom thanking me for that single act of kindness so many years earlier at that soccer game. She told me what a big adjustment moving into a new district with no friends was for her, and my reaching out to her was a light of Christ’s love to her that day and made a huge difference in her life and in adjusting to a new community.   

Kindness.  Such a powerful trait!  According to Mayo Clinic, “Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.  Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, decrease loneliness, combat low mood and improve relationships.”  

Studies show the great health benefits of simply being kind for the sake of being kind. They also remind us that being kind to our own selves is included in this category. The most beautiful thing about kindness is that it is so easy to practice!  No prescription is needed, no doctor’s appointment needs to be kept.  One just needs a mind set on doing acts of kindness for others with no expectation of reward.   

One of the most valuable things I internalized from books written by the local yet internationally known integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons is the power of thinking positively, and what a difference that makes in changing your own brain’s pathways.  I believe that thinking about others and how we can be kind to them and to ourselves is part of thinking positively and sets us on a path to our own well-being. Such a simple premise!  

I have given kindness much thought lately as the world spins around us with hard-to-believe circumstances and occurrences.  I think about that simple act of kindness towards New Mom so many years ago and I am confident that my acts of kindness in my little sphere of influence may change the day or the week or the life of someone near me without me ever knowing it, and then that person may go on to have a positive impact on another and another and another, and bonus: my own health benefits from my acts of kindness. Our collective kindnesses can change the world one person at a time. Touch a life – change the world!

As the Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible.  It is always possible.”

With kindness,

Heidi  

P.S.  If you are interested in sharing kindness with others in our congregation who are lonely or homebound or going through a difficult life situation, please consider the upcoming two part Care Minister training being offered February 1 and 8 from 6:00-8:00 p.m. at both the Minnetonka campus and the Minneapolis campus.  Contact Diane Waarvik ([email protected]) or Heidi Peterson ([email protected]) for more information. 

January 13, 2024 – Come as You Are

The holiday season always conjures up warm, lovely memories for me of going to church with my family and filing into the front pew (either because our family of eight was the last to arrive so the front pew was ours by default, or because keeping us attentive was easier under the watchful eye of the larger than life pastor right in front of us. We often laugh as we ponder the true reason for our splendid front row seat.  We’ll never know!)  I loved being entrusted with a candle of my own to hold during the Christmas Eve candlelight service. It was magical! I thought my pastor would elevate right up to heaven as I watched the candlelight glow over his face in the pitch dark as he raised his candle to his full height..  Ahhhh… those were the days!  We dressed up in our finest new Christmas clothes.  My mom often spent weeks sewing four matching dresses for the four of us girls during holidays.  As the youngest daughter I thought I was the cat’s meow in a dress that matched my older sisters.  I’m not sure what my brothers wore, but I thought I was the belle of the ball. Going to church was part of our weekly ritual and I couldn’t have imagined that it wasn’t part of everyone’s regular life. This Christmas memory is a simple glimpse into the every day warmth of my safe, loving family. Life was so good!

A few years ago, a childhood neighbor reconnected with me through Facebook.  Growing up, we spent many afternoons together with other neighbor kids playing at the grade school playground across the street from my house.  Those days were idyllic.  At least for me they were.  Little did I know what was going on behind closed doors in my friend’s home.  When he disappeared from school in junior high, I just assumed his family had moved away.  After we reconnected, I learned that his world was not so idyllic as mine growing up.  His home was not filled with love and church and routine and the magic of a candlelight service on Christmas Eve.  He had run away from home to escape.  I look back and wonder how life was for so many other kids around me.  We lived in a middle to upper middle class area, but that does not protect one from abuse and sadness and other traumas that life brings our way even in the happiest of families.  Reconnecting with my long lost friend was a reminder that when I walk through the doors at church or the grocery store or any other place, my experiences and expectations in life are most likely very different from those I engage with.  Accepting them with love and joy at just being in their presence, with no requirements to live up to my expectations or norms is essential. 

One of the sweetest things I hear these days is one of my beloved granddaughters out of the blue just stating, “I love you Geehaw,” then returning to whatever activity they were engrossed in before melting my heart.  In this new year, in this season of Epiphany, may we simply let those around us know what they mean to us with no expectations and no requirements to meet our standards.  May we welcome those who walk through the doors of our church with joy at having them come as they are, when they are able, with no judgment.  May we remember that we are Christ’s love to those in front of us and beside us and be mindful of the different, unknown paths they may be leading as we share God’s grace with them.

With grace,

Heidi (aka Gma, aka Geehaw)

January 6, 2024 – Intention vs. Resolution

Happy 2024!  Every January I love the idea and the energy of thinking about the fresh start each new year presents.  I dream of cleaning out my far basement which has become a holding spot for every unused thing from years past.  I envision reorganizing every storage space and closet in the whole house. I set my sights on healthy eating and seeing my friends and family more and so many things!  I have shared over the years how I realize New Year’s resolutions just don’t last for me, and how I like setting achievable goals with broad topics so I don’t feel guilt and shame when all of those things I’m ready to accomplish on January 1 don’t come to fruition.

The following article from Psychology Today was forwarded to me this week, and I just love it.  It resonates with how I feel about overwhelming resolutions that end up making me feel like I’ve failed.  I love how it encourages me to set broad intentions for myself, like “I’m prioritizing my family this year” or “I’m going to focus on my health”.  The goals are achievable and the article reminds us to be broad in our goal setting.  I have included the article here to hopefully take pressure off of all of us to overachieve and instead make steady progress towards healthy changes.  I hope you enjoy it, and find some personal “aha!” that refreshes and energizes you, too.

Setting Intentions for the New Year

Tips and exercises to help ground yourself in 2024.

by Robin Lanehurst, M.Ed. Originally Posted January 4, 2022 in Psychology Today, dates updated to 2024.

KEY POINTS

• Intentions, unlike resolutions, are more broad and encompass multiple areas of life.
• Setting intentions helps you discover and build habits you enjoy.
• Reflecting on your intentions and sharing them with others helps you to ground yourself and stick with it.

I have always loved the beginnings of things, moments you can use to mark fresh possibilities, but I’ve never been good at setting New Year’s resolutions. I always make them so complicated — hello, SMART goals! — and try to encompass too many areas of my life. I end up with a long list of resolutions — promises I’m making to myself that I never seem to keep. Recently, I’ve shifted to setting intentions for the New Year, instead of resolutions, and it has made a huge difference in my mindset as I work toward my goals.

Intentions Vs. Resolutions

The main difference between intentions and resolutions is in their breadth and specificity. While resolutions tend to be singular things you can check off on your to-do list or track — “I’m going to drink more water” or “I’m going to spend more quality time with my kids on the weekends” — intentions are more broad — “I’m focusing on my health”; “I’m prioritizing my family”; or even “health” and “family.” Intentions can encompass multiple areas of your life, rather than zoom in on one piece, like resolutions. For example, you may set the intention to be more creative, which can apply to your work, your spirituality, your family, and your relationships, but a resolution to take on a new creative project at work only applies to one setting.

Why Set Intentions?

We know that very few people actually keep the resolutions they set for themselves. There are plenty of tips out there about how to be in the minority of people who succeed — ways to craft your resolution to perfection. But what if the issue is in the idea of the resolution itself? What if more specificity, discipline, and accountability isn’t the answer?

Your goals for 2024 shouldn’t feel like punishments. If you are constantly tracking, reflecting, re-prioritizing, adjusting, and strategizing, your resolution that was meant to improve your life is going to begin to feel like tedious work.

Setting intentions allows for more ease and play. If your intention is to focus on your health, you might try hiking a more challenging trail, buying yourself a new water bottle, finding YouTube videos of free yoga, or checking out a new cookbook from the library. You have more freedom to experiment and find what actually feels good for you — instead of holding yourself “accountable” to an arbitrary weight-loss goal, number of days per week to exercise, or glasses of water to drink. When you are enjoying something, you’re much more likely to stick with it and to create habits that will last for life.

Intentions also give us the room to discover what really works for us. Maybe through your exploration of focusing on your health, you take a Pilates class and end up loving it so much you sign up for a class once a week.

How to Set Your Intentions

Keeping in mind what makes intentions different from resolutions, if you try to set an intention the way you would set a goal, you’re setting yourself up for the same struggles.

Instead of brainstorming your goals for the year, or things you want to improve about yourself, make two lists: (1) your top five values and (2) five things you enjoy.

Your lists might look something like this:

Values:

1. Family
2. Health
3. Helping others
4. Beauty
5. Nature

Things I enjoy:

1. Long bike rides on the trail
2. Mani/pedis
3. Cooking brunch for friends
4. Watching YouTube makeup tutorials
5. Lazy Saturday mornings

(Before we write intentions, consider how these could easily become strict resolutions. I will ride my bike three times a week. I will get a mani/pedi once a month. I will cook brunch for my friends every Sunday. I will watch and try two new makeup tutorials each month. If you only ride your bike twice or you skip brunch one Sunday, failure and shame creep in, making it next to impossible to form any kind of new habits or behaviors. That’s the trap of resolutions!)

Next, think of ways that these lists might overlap, especially thinking about the ways you haven’t made space for these things in the way you’d like to. Write out a few sentences. Use the present tense, as if you’re already doing these things.

Yours might look something like this:

• I’m spending time sharing nature with my family.
• I’m prioritizing my passion for all things beauty.
• I’m enjoying good food with good people.
• I’m resting.

How to Use Intentions Throughout the Year

Write your intentions down somewhere you will see them often. Share them with others or on your social media. It’s also important to take time regularly to check in with yourself. Maybe you keep a note on your phone and keep track of different things you do that connect with your intentions. Maybe you write in a weekly journal or talk to your therapist.

You can also use your intentions to help prioritize your time in ways that make you happy and reflect your values. If your intention is to spend more time in nature, you might decide to bring your coffee out to the back porch, instead of sitting in the kitchen. Your intentions help to guide actions from a gentle, compassionate place — not a place of enforcement.

2024: The Year of Intention

Changing your mindset from resolutions to intentions takes a little reframing, a lot of patience, and a fair amount of humility. If you want to grow more holistically, shift deeply ingrained habits, and nurture yourself, then I challenge you to take the leap this year.

Robin Lanehurst, M.Ed., has over a decade of experience in public education as a classroom teacher, professional school counselor, and curriculum designer. She holds an M.Ed. in Educational Psychology from the University of Texas at Austin and a B.A. in Sociology from the University of Pittsburgh. Currently, Robin works as a consultant and coach for families with middle school students and writes for several outlets on mental health and education topics. She lives in Houston, TX, with her wife, son, vegetable garden, and a small menagerie of animals.

Blessings and love to you this New Year!

Heidi

December 30, 2023 – Blessings

It has been such a busy time of year!  Gift buying and wrapping, decorating the house, sending Christmas cards, gatherings of family and friends, traveling and traditional events that all make the Christmas season the Christmas season have kept us scrambling to complete our tasks. As much joy as this season can bring, it also brings stress for many of us.

As we entered the holiday week Mark and I were preparing to leave to be with my beloved 92 year old Dad in Arizona.  Because we weren’t gathering at our home, we opted not to decorate.  We hung a wreath on the outside of the house and that was the extent of our decorating.  Our Christmas cards haven’t even been ordered yet so they are becoming New Year’s greetings. These two things alone have decreased my stress level immensely. 

I look around at what is going on in the world and think how devastating world events are right now, and honestly feel a twinge of guilt that we can make decisions about how to celebrate as the world is crying out in despair, and I wonder how I can go beyond our regular holiday plans this year to make a difference in this world of ours. My thoughts are simple, and maybe they will resonate with you as well and we can all join forces to be Christ to others this year:

1. Be kind. Be patient with and uplifting of the grocery clerk or the person providing services for you or the difficult neighbor or the frazzled young parents who are doing their best to navigate this season when expectations from others are so high.
2. Spend time with the people you love, either in person or on zoom or by phone. Remember that time is the BEST gift we can give.
3. Surprise someone who is struggling this season with the gift of doing a task or running an errand or delivering a meal to them, or including them in holiday plans if they are going to be alone.  I am blessed with a very large family so have rarely had to face this challenge, but I am trying to be more inclusive of those that I know are alone or are NOT having a happy holiday.  
4. Donate money to your local food shelf.  Our cash donations go so much further than food donations (although food is always welcomed!) and our food shelves can make our dollars stretch as they provide food security during the holiday season to people who are struggling.  
5. Donate to the American Red Cross who provides relief to people abroad and here at home. 
6. Donate to the ELCA to provide relief from the Wildfires in Hawaii. They also provide options for international causes.
7. Google a cause of your choice to support.
8. Breathe deep and take care of yourself this season.  A happy You brings joy to others!

Check out our Mental Health Connect Holiday Wellness Guide to help navigate through the holidays. You’ll find resources as well as FUN projects to brighten your days.  

Included you will find: 

Ten Tools for Resiliency | Mental Health America (mhanational.org)

1. Connect with others.
2. Stay positive.
3. Get physically active.
4. Help others
5. Get enough sleep.
6. Create joy and satisfaction.
7. Eat well.
8. Take care of your spirit.
9. Deal better with hard times.
10. Get professional help if you need it.

May you find peace and joy this season and may you spread your blessings to others.

With Christ’s love as we venture into the new year,

Heidi

December 16, 2023 – The Season of Caring

‘Tis the season!  The holidays always inspire me to be in touch with the people in my life.  Every year, when the Christmas cards start to arrive, I lovingly hang every picture card we receive on the door in the kitchen that leads to our garage.  I leave them up all year until the next season’s cards begin to arrive.  I look at those cards every day all year long and think about the people we love and who love us.  I’ll remember a loved one who has left us and pray for their family, or be reminded that someone is struggling and give them a call.  But mostly I am reminded that we have a beautiful village surrounding us and I need to do my best to be in touch with them. I love that door full of joy!

How blessed are we at Bethlehem that we have a culture of caring all year for those in our church family.  I am always moved by stories of individuals in our community visiting someone in the hospital or at home when they can’t make it to be with us for worship.  I love stories of support for those who are grieving or struggling with illness.  The compassion touches my heart. I am happy to share that Bethlehem will be offering training for those who feel called to this compassionate care.  The Care Ministry Team will be hosting a two part training on Feb. 1 and Feb. 8 in 2024 for those interested in becoming Care Ministers. If this is your passion, please talk to Diane Waarvik, Pastor Kris Tostengard Michel or me to see if this might be a match for you.   

Until then, consider being a beacon of light in someone’s life this holiday season if you know that they need a little tender loving care.  A call, a note, a plate of cookies or a meal delivered to their door will remind them, as my door full of pictures does, that they matter to someone and that they are loved by our village.

Blessed by our culture of compassion this Christmas season,

Heidi

(Look for more information to come about Care Ministers.  Feel free to ask questions about this important ministry!)

December 9, 2023 – Brain Health

I love to nap. I could nap every day and still get a good night’s sleep. I have high expectations for myself every afternoon with a To Do list that never dwindles, but as soon as I put our darling granddaughter down for her nap each day, I hear the siren call of the couch.  I tell myself every day, “Just twenty minutes. I can take a little break!”  As I succumbed to that yearning for naps earlier this week in the middle of a couple of gray, cloud covered days, my darling daughter was also on her couch, hit hard in Colorado with Covid and missing a week of work.  (Young and physically active, her getting hit so severely served as yet another reminder to make my appointment for my Covid booster this week.  It’s added to that To Do list!)  True to form, as she rested she was also keeping up with the world and sent me THIS ARTICLE on brain health, wondering if I was aware of this “Score Card” for brain care and a person’s risk for stroke and dementia.  

As I navigated through the article and took the questionnaire, I was pleased with some of my answers and saw room for improvement in others.  I was also encouraged that the list included actions that are achievable for most of us.  Getting my fruits and vegetables? Check (at least most days, especially when I have a delicious spinach/fruit smoothie for breakfast). Socially engaged with strong emotional connections to my people? Check.  Blood work and blood pressure that are within healthy ranges?  Check.  I have been exercising a lot more regularly this fall, so that was a boost to my score as well.  

The statistics stated in the article about the increase in stroke and dementia can be alarming.  While for some of us there is definitely a genetic factor involved, there are many things that any of us can do to decrease our risks, and this article is a reminder that so many of them are things we already know about. We’ve managed to cut out sugary beverages from our diets over the years, and neither of us smokes, so we do have some good things going for us. 

I know for me and my honey it’s a matter of recommitting to things like reducing the amount of processed foods we eat and using fresh foods instead.  When I’m not cooking for a family it’s just so much easier to open a package or pick up a deli meal!  It has become our default meal plan too often. 

The encouraging news is that the steps to doing what we can for our brain health are doable.  There is no astounding new thing to attempt, just a refresh on healthy habits and a commitment to fitting those habits into our lives.  I have several cookbooks on Blue Zone diets and the Mediterranean diet and more.  I guess it’s time to crack them open and cook!

Striving to keep my brain sharp,

Heidi

December 2, 2023 – Here to Stay

I do believe winter weather has arrived!  My family unit spent the week of Thanksgiving in Colorado and had a wonderful whirlwind of a time seeing people and going on adventures every day.  The Sangre de Christo mountain range that Mark and I spent Thanksgiving on had 14 inches of snow beginning the night before we left to return to Denver!  We made it safely back to our sweet daughter’s home before the roads became impassable. We were relieved!

On the way out to Colorado the weekend before Thanksgiving, we shared the long car ride together as well as…germs!  Many of us, including some of our hosts, ended up with colds. We all rebounded pretty quickly which is a relief for me.  I am especially happy that this year so far I have NOT had pneumonia!  Last year was miserable for me with multiple cases of pneumonia and one of Covid.  I then got my pneumonia vaccination and have breathed easy for the past year!  What a gift!  

So here we go, entering the season of being indoors so much more and sharing our germs more readily with each other.  While Covid isn’t necessarily rampant in Minnesota at the moment, the number of people receiving vaccinations has been way down this fall and cases of Covid are on the rise.  As cases rise it is expected that hospitalizations will also rise.  I admit I have yet to get my latest booster because I was waiting for the latest vaccine to come out, and it is now readily available so that is what my weekend holds: an appointment for my Covid booster.  The height of excitement!  I DID order my four free testing kits online this week, and because we hadn’t ordered any this fall, we will be getting eight free kits!  Want your own free testing kits?  You can order them in a flash HERE.

Here is a link so you can see for yourself what the latest information on Covid is from the Center for Disease Control.  It will help you stay up to date so you can make educated decisions for yourself. Covid is here to stay! I’m thankful we have resources to keep it at bay.

Washing my hands constantly,

Heidi

November 25, 2023 – A Regular Life

This week I have been in Colorado.  My beloved family unit spent last weekend together with a special group of camp friends in Denver in a spectacular and welcoming VRBO home that could sleep the entire crew.  The main event was the Vikings-Broncos game which twelve of the group attended while the I-don’t-need-to-go-to-the-game crowd enjoyed a fun, happy evening together in our pretend home for the night.  It’s a memory that will last a lifetime. My honey and I then stayed with dear friends for a couple of nights.  As I write this message the four of us are getting ready to head up to Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp to help prepare and serve a community Thanksgiving meal for the towns at the base of the mountain that the camp sits on.  It’s an annual event to thank the communities for their support and acceptance of the ministry.  We will then head back to spend time with our darling daughter and her honey the rest of this weekend and will head back home Sunday.

The entire week has been and will be one filled with love and joy and community and service.  We have traveled without worry for our safety besides potential car trouble and deer on mountain roads. I have every physical need met without even thinking about it. I have never once gone hungry for lack of food in my life. I have always had shelter and clothing appropriate for a bitter Minnesota winter and the mountains of Colorado. And this year I am intensely aware of my safe and secure life while so much of the world is crying out in anguish.

I have been thinking constantly about our protected little bubble compared to the surrounding world and how I can possibly make a difference to those who are suffering and battered and experiencing conflict so that someday they too can return to a life of regularity and joy and lack of worry for their lives. While there is power in contacting our government officials and encouraging them to step in and have a voice for protecting innocent people, there is also great power in supporting reputable groups who already have a system in place for reaching these places of devastation and conflict effectively to provide immediate physical care. I have always dreamt of being on the Red Cross Disaster Relief Team someday, but until that becomes a reality I have decided to have an impact by supporting groups who already have a plan in place. Here is an article about how the Global Red Cross Movement Responds as Israel and Gaza Conflict Continues.  You can learn more at this link about Disaster Relief Services through the American Red Cross and all of the places they serve in the US and abroad.  There are also well established organizations near and dear to our faith community like the ELCA’s Lutheran Disaster Response .  This site lists many places they support domestically and internationally including the Middle East Crisis and how you can help. Lutheran World Relief also provides Humanitarian Assistance to many corners of the world including the current crisis in Gaza and Israel and Ukraine.  I have only listed these three humanitarian aid organizations although I know there are many other worthy groups who support areas around the world affected by war and conflict. Consider supporting a group you feel connected to as a simple but important way to be the hands and feet of Christ to the neighbors in our world when we can’t be there personally.

With deep gratitude for my regular life,

Heidi

November 18, 2023 – The Practice of Gratitude

I’ve been going to physical therapy lately to retrain some muscles that are causing me issues.  I remember when my honey Mark had shoulder replacement surgery and was diligent about doing his exercises and how beneficial it was for him.  His dedication to his PT helped heal that shoulder and it is now serving him well.  So I have been trying to be as dedicated as he was in doing my exercises.  It’s pretty exciting because with new technology, I scanned a QR code and voila!  There is my program to click into on my phone every day, and it talks me through my mostly yoga stretches along with a timer so I know when to proceed to each new exercise to reprogram my muscles.  

Next week the nation celebrates Thanksgiving.  Christmas is around the corner.  The holidays are upon us and I have to say: I’m not ready!  After my “blue” Saturday a couple of weeks ago (see last week’s message), I know I have to start now to be proactive for the stress of the holidays and the dark days ahead.  I’ve been thinking about my PT exercises, and how I’m practicing and practicing different motions so they become second nature for me over time, and I thought, “this is just like practicing gratitude and positive thinking.”  If I start the daily habit of focusing on gratitude and positive thinking, it will be like second nature to me next time one of those hard, lonely days comes around.  So I went into this article from Mental Health America on Staying Positive to pick up some tips.  This link within the article talks about when change is hard, how important it is to practice a new habit.  Repetition is key to making it a habit that is easily employed when you need it, and that  “the more you stick with a new behavior, the easier it gets. That’s because repetition actually can build pathways in your brain.”  The main article talks about how tracking a person’s gratitude EVEN ONCE A WEEK was enough to make that person more upbeat and have less complaints.  I can keep a gratitude journal once a week! That’s a doable goal!  It also said that “People who obsessively repeated negative thoughts and behaviors were able to change their unhealthy patterns—and their brain activity actually changed too.”  How exciting is that!  Our brain pathways can be changed just by practicing new behaviors like keeping a gratitude journal!

I am now energized to pull out an empty journal and start tracking what I am grateful for.  With the holidays upon us, what better time to try this new practice and bring it into the new year. There are also a lot of other worthy ideas in the article if you’d like to be proactive with me.

With deep gratitude for all of you,

Heidi 

November 11, 2023 – Balm for the Soul

This past weekend I was very “blue”.  I was alone for the weekend because of hunting opener, and my honey was enjoying his annual hunting trip with his college roommate.  It’s a yearly event, so I know it’s coming every year, and our lives have always been atypical as far as work hours go between law enforcement, nursing, and all the other jobs we have had, so weekends alone for me have been a part of life since we were married.  But for some reason I found myself feeling especially lonely and really sad last weekend.  I managed to get myself out of the house to visit friends and to run errands, and I eventually ended up at one of my sister’s houses for pizza and a movie.  It took a lot of energy and self talk for me to get myself out of the house and turn the day around. Was it the gray, cloudy weather that impacted me?  That happens frequently, but I’m usually not so deeply sad. Was it from being isolated and feeling like the world was passing me by? I just don’t know what hit me, but I know I had to be incredibly intentional to get myself back on track and feeling like myself again. 

I have thought so much this week about how some trigger on any given day can completely change a person’s mindset and send them unexplainably swirling down this rabbit hole, and also about the enormous amount of energy and intentionality it takes to pull oneself back out of that hole. I think one thing that helped me that day was knowing how much thought I have put into how I am going to approach days like this before they happened.  I’ve told myself I am GOING to get out of the house and be with people.  I am GOING to find something productive or fun to do.  And I actually was able to do those things that I had promised myself I was going to do. Yet it took so much determination to turn my day around that it makes me wonder how hard it would be for someone who just can’t find the energy to accomplish that. 

Last month Bethlehem hosted a Healing and Prayer service.  It is one of my favorite services every year.  Calming, soothing, healing are only a few of the ways I can describe this service. I think it is a balm for the soul for those who feel like I did last weekend or are in any difficult situation they may be going through.  Luckily for us, we live in a time of technology, and we can view the service anytime we need some comfort.   Click here to view the service if you’re needing a little balm.

I’ve also been thinking about being proactive so I don’t find myself experiencing more days like this with the darkening days ahead of us.  Our Mental Health Connect collaborative has put together a Holiday Wellness Guide that has brought me inspiration and hope many times over the years.  It includes creative ideas and holiday concerts and resources and support that are worth checking out to know what is available for us in case we find ourselves needing someplace to turn in a dark hour.  

I’m putting my action plan in place now to face any more unexpected blue days.  

Please know that if you are experiencing such a day, you can reach out to a loved one, or to us.

May you find balm for your soul,

Heidi

November 4, 2023 – One Big Family

As All Saints’ Sunday approaches, I reflect on the past year and more as I remember the loved ones who have transcended beyond this place.  There are holes in our hearts, empty seats at our tables, and immeasurable grief for so many of us.  I am encouraged by the love and support I have witnessed as our Bethlehem community has gathered around grieving families and has embraced those left behind.  

I remember the things that comforted my family during the times of loss we have experienced:  a loving hug with words of love and sympathy or no words at all, a knock on the door with a friend on the other side holding a dinner to feed us, a cooler full of beverages and a grocery bag full of paper goods to help us host the guests who stopped by, text messages and cards sending notes of love and sympathy, and friends who reminisce about our people with us still.  There were long distance friends and family who sent care packages of food and comfort items and cookies. And again, the happy or funny or outrageous memories that people continue to share of our dear ones as the days and years go by.

Our community has lost so many beloved saints recently and over the years.  May our big faith family embrace those who have lost loved ones and continue to offer gestures of kindness and love and remembrance.  It is never too late and never too small to lift up those who grieve amongst us.  

God’s blessings as we live into being this lovely family in Christ.

Heidi

October 28, 2023 – Finding Balance

Several years ago some friends and I decided we were going to hire a Life Coach to work with us as a group.  I went into it thinking it would be an intriguing experience without thinking there would be anything drastically new for me to discover. I was taken aback when I discovered how out of balance my life was because of the job I had at the time.  I realized that my work life was creating incredible stress and unhappiness in my life and it was impacting my home life as well.  I subsequently gave my two-week notice and felt lighter and refreshed very rapidly.  I went on to find a job much more suited to my passions and skills and never looked back.  

This past week I helped staff the Mental Health Connect table at the resource fair for the annual Mental Health Conference held at Temple Israel.  The amazing 23 year old keynote speaker, Sophie Riegel, had many insightful messages to share with us, but one struck me with that same eye-opening “AHA!” moment that I had during my Life Coach sessions.  Sophie, three time author of books regarding mental health and anxiety and giving and getting help, was asking for audience participation.  She asked us what advice we get or give about how to feel better and get beyond anxiety and depression.  The shouted answers were exactly what we all would expect and what we all know we SHOULD do:  “Exercise more!”  “Get outside in nature more!”  “Eat healthy foods!” “Get more sleep!” The answers kept coming. She related this messaging to what people told her when she was experiencing anxiety, and how overwhelming it was to be expected to do MORE in a moment when one can hardly get through a day.  She then asked what we could do AWAY with in our lives to help us feel better instead of ADDING to an already overwhelming situation.  AHA!  So simple, but so wise.  

I have been thinking hard about the things in my life that ADD stress that I do out of obligation or because it’s the “right thing to do”.  As passionate as I am about serving my community and supporting local non-profits, I am at a season in my life where these things add stress and deplete my energy for my family and my home and my own well-being.  I recently resigned my position as a board member from a local non-profit.  I felt so guilty that I was leaving them, but my term was beyond its end date. I had helped get them through a very difficult situation, and new people were being recruited and coming on board.  It was a huge relief to be done, and they are doing quite well in spite of my resignation. I also left another volunteer position I love but know I can go back to in the near future when I have more availability.  It has been freeing to not feel the pressure of keeping up with deadlines and struggling to fit my volunteer responsibilities into my full life without feeling like I have failed or let someone down.  

All of the things I think I SHOULD be involved in are good and worthy causes, but they are not good for me right now.  Not adding undoable things to my life and my schedule has been a relief and a healthy choice for me to be able to focus on my well-being and the things that are most important right now in my life.  

I am a huge advocate of volunteering and believe this world cannot survive without people serving passionately in positions they believe in.  I am also a huge advocate for getting more movement and water and healthy food and rest into our lives, so I am not suggesting that we all just give these things up on the spur of the moment. But my AHA! moment was a reminder to reevaluate what I am involved in and how I choose to spend my time.  Is my life in balance?  If not, what is creating that imbalance, and am I able to eliminate or change habits or activities that don’t contribute to my well-being or that completely stress me out?  I already feel lighter for simply figuring out what is stealing my energy this week, and for reminding myself that I don’t have to do everything all at once.  I make a difference where I can, when I can, yet am reminded that being my healthiest self benefits everyone around me including myself.  

Have you checked in with yourself lately?  Feeling unbalanced?  Pause and ponder and evaluate.  Your well-being is worth it!

Refreshed and finding balance,

Heidi

October 21, 2023 – Prayer & Healing Service

Grief and loss are painful.  They are physically and emotionally draining. You wake up every morning to face your nightmare of loss again and again. Life changes are stressful and depleting. Will you ever get through them and find joy again? Caretaking can be overwhelming.  Loneliness is… lonely. Our lives are filled with joy and hope one moment, then stress or pain the next.  

Do you find yourself nodding? That yes, indeed, you have lived the ups and downs of life?  More importantly, do you need a moment to just breath and rest and refresh your soul to help get through a life situation right now?  

Bethlehem’s Mental Health & Addiction Ministry team is hosting a Prayer and Healing Service on Tuesday, October 24, 2023 from 7:00-8:00 p.m. at the Minneapolis campus, and you are invited!  

If you attend the Minnetonka campus and would love to go but the drive to Minneapolis gives you pause, I have 5-6 empty seats and would love to offer you a ride. Contact me and be the first to reserve a spot in my family van. 

Come rest your spirit and refresh your soul.

Heidi

[email protected]

More information for you about this event and a concert you don’t want to miss from This Week at Bethlehem Twin Cities:

 Bethlehem’s Mental Health and Addiction Ministry has two events coming up this month:

The first is a Prayer and Healing Service on Tuesday, October 24, 7:00 pm, Minneapolis & Livestream. This service will focus on mental health and also on those living with a mental illness. We are all living in a world where we witness or experience pain, loss and hardships. This will be a service where we offer music, a message and prayer. Led by Rev. Hannah Campbell Gustafson, director of Mental Health Connect. All are welcome!

 The second is a Live Concert on Friday, October 27, 5:45 pm, Saint Joan of Arc Catholic Community. The concert will feature David Lohman and Jen Burleigh Bentz. Both of these musicians are amazing artists and well known in the music world. The concert is a fundraiser for Mental Health Connect, a collaborative ministry of 33 faith communities. Please join us for a very enjoyable evening of music.

October 14, 2023 – Ending Well

I remember opening a letter from my Mom many years ago and thinking, “Well THIS is the weirdest thing!”  She had sent a happy note to each of her six kids along with a picture of Mom and Dad’s headstone already in place in their cemetery of choice and the information complete except for their dates of death.  All six of us had our names engraved on that headstone as well, listed as “Children” of Sam and June. She was so excited to share that completed task with us!  I’m hesitant to say that we had a lot of fun with that headstone!  We took family pictures around it, including Mom and Dad, with each of us pointing to our names. We took pictures of Mom and Dad smiling happily next to their own names. Yet I still thought it was so quirky until Mom died 12 years ago. I quickly realized what a gift it was that she and Dad had already taken care of the details of their deaths.  Not only did Mom make her own decisions about what she wanted in her final days in the hospital and hospice, we weren’t scrambling after she died to find a plot or to make decisions about burial or cremation, and we didn’t have to think about Bible verses and music selections for a funeral. We also didn’t need to pick out a headstone for her. They had it all figured out already!  When we visited their church for funeral planning, Dad pretty much handed the pastor what they had planned and it was done.  The stress on Dad and on all of us was so diminished. 

The greatest practical lesson I learned from Mom’s death was how important it is to be prepared regardless of one’s age.  Everyone has possessions, many have property, many have family and friends, and everyone has a vision of how they want to be taken care of in their final days.  Those plans and wishes need to be written down and given to the appropriate people in order for them to be honored and in order to avoid confusion at the end of one’s life.  The Care Ministry Team is pleased to offer a two session seminar this month on Ending Well: Planning for End-of-Life  at the Minnetonka Campus on October 23 and October 30 from 1:00-2:30. Find out more and register at the link above so we can bring plenty of information for everyone.  There will be speakers on wills and financial considerations, advance planning for end-of-life health care and burial options, as well as guidance on funeral planning.  Every adult of all ages is welcome and encouraged to attend.  

Blessed by my parents’ pre-planning,

Heidi  

October 7, 2023 – So Blessed

My beloved husband Mark and I stood behind a man at the counter of Culver’s the other day as we waited to pick up our order. I became more and more disheartened and uncomfortable as I listened to that man complain that his order was wrong and “how hard was it to get it right?”  The calm employees tried to reason with him, and when he barked at the young man behind the counter that he wanted to talk to the manager and that young man said quietly but firmly, with a smile on his face, that he was the manager, I silently cheered when that arrogant man deflated a little and said, “Oh.”  When he found out that his order was actually correct, I wanted to chase him out the door and make him turn around and apologize. I also had an entire speech bursting from my head to share with him.  

These are the moments when I remind myself how blessed I am.  

I have a roof over my head.  I have food on my table without worrying where my next meal will come from. I have a bed and pillows and blankets and running water and a refrigerator and a furnace and air conditioning and a washer and dryer and garbage service and grocery stores and gas stations and everything else I could possibly need or want at my fingertips.  I can go to a fast food restaurant and have someone else prepare a meal for me in minutes, and if the onion rings I ordered come as french fries, I can have my order corrected on the spot.  

I occasionally look at the wealth around me and yearn for more, but then I remind myself that

 I am among the wealthiest in the world.  Shelter, food, clean drinking water, health care, education and so much more are part of my everyday life to the point that I don’t even think about it.  Then I stand behind an ungrateful person at a fast food restaurant and remind myself that I am so blessed. I am called to share that blessing with this world.  I am so grateful that my church is involved with outreach partners that make a difference for those who don’t have access to daily life necessities like I do, like Beacon and our local food shelves,  ICA (icafoodshelf.org) and Community Emergency Services (cesmn.org), and Habitat for Humanity and so many other non-profits.  I am thankful that my faith community has resources like Starfish and our Mental Health and Addiction Ministry team as well as Mental Health Connect to offer to people who are in need of food or shelter or mental health support or financial support. 

As my dear husband and I approach that threshold of Social Security benefits and Medicare, I appreciate those safety nets even more as we face life decisions about finances and health care and end of life decisions.  I am hopeful that the end of our lives is FAR in the future, but am thankful that we are so blessed to have a say in how this chapter in our lives plays out and that we have systems in place to provide for us.  And I am thankful that I am so blessed to live a life that allows me to stand at a counter and order a meal prepared for me, correct or not, to bring home without thought.  My cup overflows.

Blessed by overflowing abundance,

Heidi 

Remember… the Ending Well sessions are coming up at the Minnetonka campus! Put Mondays, October 23 and 30 from 1:00 p.m.-2:30 p.m. on your calendars!

September 30, 2023 – Did You Know…

How did it get to be the end of September??? School has started, the leaves are changing colors, and I haven’t accomplished everything from my summer “To Do” list!  I’ve been a little hard on myself, wondering just why it’s so difficult for me to get to everything that needs doing, then I take a deep breath and remind myself to be kind to me. I am more forgiving of myself as I get reminders on Mental Health Connect’s Instagram story that “I am enough” (you can follow them @mentalhealthconnect on Instagram), and I am encouraged and lifted up when I attend Bethlehem’s Mental Health and Addiction Ministry team meetings each month.  Did you know that yes, indeed, Bethlehem Lutheran Church has a multi-campus Mental Health and Addiction Ministry team?  

This week we had the monthly planning meeting for this ministry. As I drove from Minnetonka to the Minneapolis campus, my mind was spinning with all of the things I needed to do and all of the things I haven’t gotten to over the past months. I do a great job of getting down on myself sometimes, especially with commutes when I have no one but my own brain to be my companion. And then, after our meeting, I left energized and feeling like I really do make a difference in the world as we collaborated and planned together.  The Mental Health and Addiction Ministry Team is a wonderfully passionate group. If you were to peek at the Calendar of Activities they have planned into April of 2024 your head might spin at the commitment they make to the mental wellbeing of our congregation. They are hosting a table at Bethlehem’s Open Streets Lyndale event. They are updating the mental health resources available in the libraries at church. They participate actively in the Mental Health Connect collaborative and will be at the upcoming Ambassador Meeting where we’ll learn how to administer lifesaving Naloxone in the event of an overdose. They’re planning an evening Prayer Service on October 24th to create a space of hope and healing for all, and especially for those dealing with life’s mental wellbeing challenges at this moment in their lives. They are attending screenings of movies regarding mental wellbeing that they hope to present to our congregation.  They are working with our youth and family team to bring critical information to students and parents alike on topics such as suicide prevention and substance abuse prevention and recovery. They are planning similar programming for our adults. It is exhilarating to see the ministry take wings and fly under the care of dedicated members of Bethlehem.  

On my ride home from the meeting this week, I felt a whole lot better about that “To Do” list and about my true purpose in life, and I gave myself grace as I was reminded of what is truly important in this world:  being present with others and striving to lift each other up as we walk through life together. As I drove back to Minnetonka my head was in a totally different space. I promised myself to be diligent about taking those Instagram reminders from MHC to heart, and to practice positive self-talk as I lift myself up and take care of my own mental well being. My home projects will all wait for me. 

May you take time to put your own mental well being first this month!

With grace,

Heidi

P.S. Interested in being a part of Bethlehem’s Mental Health and Addiction Ministry Team, or volunteering to help at events?  Contact Diane Waarvik at [email protected] or Heidi Peterson at [email protected]. You will be warmly welcomed! 

September 23, 2023 – It’s Happening in October

I didn’t think it was critical that I have it, even though I knew it would be helpful, but I quickly realized how desperate my entire being was for a Healing Touch session.  A few months ago, as I was leaving the Minneapolis campus, Susan, one of Bethlehem’s outstanding Healing Touch (HT) practitioners, came into the office and, knowing that I was interested in a session, said to me, “Let’s get you on a table.  I have some time right now.”  So I climbed on a table, and am I ever thankful that I did!  My body relaxed, my mind cleared, and I felt refreshed and so much less foggy after my amazing session. I think about that moment often these days as my congested head begs me to go back for another soothing session on that table. It brought me great relief and an indescribable sense of well-being.   

Healing Touch, you ask?  Just what is it?  I took the introductory course to the Foundations of Healing Touch Practice shortly after I began working at Bethlehem and learned the science behind it and the amazing connection between our bodies and energy and just what healing our beautiful bodies are capable of under a trained HT practitioner. As a science based nurse, I was reassured and thrilled at the proven connection between science and Healing Touch, and when I found myself the recipient of the healing nature of a session, I was 100% on board.  And now, anyone interested has the opportunity to learn this practice. Bethlehem’s Healing Touch Ministry is hosting a 2-day Foundations of Healing Touch  on October 6 & 7 at the Minneapolis Campus. Interested in learning how to practice this healing art?  Check out the link above for more information and to register. Or would you like to benefit from a session?  Contact the Healing Touch practitioners at 612-312-3375. You will be forever grateful that you did. 

Then, on October 8, wander down Lyndale Avenue during the Open Streets event and stop by the Care Ministries booth in front of Bethlehem to learn more about our Mental Health Ministry and our collaboration with Mental Health Connect. There will be fun games and prizes for everyone.  Will you win bubbles? Play dough? A fidget? Come see for yourself! 

Are you yearning for a night out? Have you heard of Phantom of the Opera and Mama Mia? Then put the ‘You Will Be Found’ Concert (6:15 pm) + Reception (5:45 pm) on your calendar! Bethlehem is co-hosting a concert on Friday, October 27th with St. Joan of Arc Catholic Community. David Lohman (former BLC youth) will be performing along with the talented Jen Burleigh Bentz. Check out their bios on the link above to find their connections to Phantom and Mama Mia. The gifts these two possess are breathtaking, and being present at their performance will send us home basking in the splendor of the event.  And bonus…proceeds benefit Mental Health Connect!

And finally, did you miss the Ending Well sessions this spring?  The Care Ministries Team is offering them again as promised at the Minnetonka campus on October 23 and 30. 

Here’s a  preview of what we’ll be covering:

Making your intentions known – Oct 23, 1pm

• Advance directives for health care
• Financial matters and legal documents

When all is said and done – Oct 30, 1pm

• Burial and cremation options
• Liturgical planning for your funeral service

This seminar is for every adult of every age!  What a gift to those you designate to honor your wishes and to put your mind at ease as you plan how to handle your health directives and your personal belongings. I know I will be filling out my own paperwork this time around.  Please join us as we check this off of our “To Do” lists. 

So put October on your radar.  There are life changing events coming your way from your Care Ministries team!  

You are cherished,

Heidi

September 16, 2023 – S-T-R-E-T-C-H

As I rolled out of bed this week, I realized once again that as I age I am losing my flexibility.  Every morning I hear a certain friend’s voice in my head, “I stretch because I see the results of what NOT stretching does every day in my practice.”  This friend happens to be a physician who carefully and diligently stretches every muscle in her body every morning. We happily got to practice stretching with her one week, and I realized quickly how much I really needed to stretch my muscles more regularly. So I downloaded the Bend app on my phone, and I try to do the morning stretch as often as possible, with the good intention of waking up to stretch every morning.  I’m getting there!  

Stretching is for everyone!  Yoga has become a standard in many preschools and elementary schools to teach kids good physical care habits and how to practice destressing.  Athletes at every level stretch before and/or after engaging in physical activity, and a whole science around the benefits of stretching has been developed.  I encourage you to check out these links about the importance of stretching, along with some ideas on how to safely get started.

The importance of stretching – Harvard Health

Stretching: Focus on flexibility – Mayo Clinic

9 Benefits of Stretching: How to Start, Safety Tips, and More (healthline.com)

To your health,

Heidi

September 9, 2023 – How Did They Grow Up So Fast?

As I left my house on Tuesday morning to head up to my dear son and daughter-in-law’s house for the daily routine of getting their two precious girls ready for the day, I drove by bus stops full of kids of all ages and just as many parents with coffee in hand as everyone waited for the bus on that exciting first day back to school.  When I arrived at my destination, our four year old granddaughter was as full of the energy and excitement and joy about moving up to the next classroom at daycare as possible.  Her new back-pack and new lunch box were packed and ready to go. Her “First Day of Pre-K” poster, held with pride on the front step of her house, had her looking so much taller and so much older than a year ago when it simply read “First Day of Preschool”!  Before we left their house she whispered the menu she had chosen for the family celebration of her first day of Pre-K we would have later that evening in my ear:  “We’re going to have healthy meat soup (chili), then vanilla and strawberry cake for dessert.” Her Daddy and little sister and I all delivered her to her new room, where she was greeted enthusiastically by her new teachers as well as all of her friends who moved up to Pre-K with her. 

Later that same morning in our Bethlehem Staff meeting, Pastor Vern led devotions, then had us break into small groups to discuss what new possibilities we could each see ahead of us with changes we are experiencing.  What were we leaving behind?  What were our new possibilities?  An overriding theme for many of the staff was watching kids go off to college for the first time, or kids moving up to the next level of school for the first time, be it middle school or high school or kindergarten, or becoming empty nesters. The things we were looking forward to as new possibilities for ourselves included health goals and finding new ways to be involved and adjusting to the change that growing kids bring to our lives and so many other new things on the horizon for each of us. My heart especially went out to the parents going through transitions as their kids are growing up. There are so many mixed emotions involved!  This is what we want for our kiddos, right? To grow and flourish and become the beautiful souls they are created to be. Yet there is also grief and loss and change to adjust to as parents and family members. My dear daughter-in-law told me at Senja’s celebration dinner that night that she and my son Andrew were taking the first day of school off next year, dropping Senja off at Kindergarten together, going out to breakfast, then going home to cry. A local radio personality I was listening to this week was expressing his sadness and the adjustment to dropping their oldest son off at college, and a cruel and heartless listener told him to “man up”, that this is what all children do.  I wanted to wrap my arms around that announcer and tell him not to listen (I’m confident he ignored the comment), that yes, kids go out on their own, but the loss is real and it’s ok to be sad.  Deep emotions come into play as we watch our little ones become big ones!  I will forever miss the days of my own sweet babies living under my roof and both of us as parents being involved in a myriad of ways to support them and their schools. The emptiness when they leave home is palpable. As a mom who went through that emptiness when my kids left every fall for Kindergarten through college I have a heart for parents who are experiencing those transitions as kids do their job and grow up, so I thought I’d share a few links of encouragement for parents and students alike below: 

10 Ways Parents Can Support Their New College Student (grownandflown.com)

3 Levels of Support for Neurodiverse Students at College | Psychology Today

Tips To Help College Students Adjust To Campus Life : NPR

Your Kid’s Off to College and You’re a Mess. Here’s When You’ll Be OK (grownandflown.com)

Helping young children and parents transition back to school | CDC

My prayer for you is that the joys will eventually outweigh the loss and grief parents can experience as kids grow up. I find deep joy in the rich adult relationships we now have with our kids and their significant others. They are all my nearest and dearest.  And I love the human beings they have all become and the difference each of them strives with their whole hearts to make in this world. They are our legacy, our heart and our soul. I intentionally found support as those beloved kids left home in the parent friends I made as I raised those beautiful humans. We got together monthly to put college care packages together for four years, we formed book clubs and continue to spend weekends away together, and we still support each other to this day.  I hope that you will keep those connections alive as well. They will carry you far into the future! 

May you find joy this first week back at school!

Heidi

September 2, 2023 – Move!

It has been a busy month for my family!!! We have been working at our beloved Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp, my husband-that-I-don’t-know-what-I-would-do-without Mark had an unexpected week away for his on-call job, we held a garage sale to say goodbye to my mother-in-law’s final belongings along with our no-longer-needed household goods, we gathered with an extended group of friends for a pool party, we celebrated my beloved hubby’s birthday, we watched our sweet-as-can-be granddaughters one Friday night, we had an impromptu gathering of 5 of my 6 siblings from around the country, beloved husband Mark started back to work at his retirement job driving school bus for the Edina School District, we connected with out-of-town friends, and we tried to keep our house clean and safe to watch our youngest darling granddaughter our regular 4 days a week.  Whew!  We are tired (okay… exhausted!) but content and happy.  We are surrounded by the love and support of amazing people!  AND we are feeling the effects of aging as we try to keep up with a busy life.  Our lovely retired neighbor walked up our driveway this week and asked me, as we were cleaning out the garage, “Do you two ever stop?”  I am happy to say that NO we don’t stop!  At least not yet!

However, as we run and we run from family activities to volunteer jobs to friend events to everyday work and obligations, we struggle to get enough regular physical activity and exercise incorporated into our everyday lives.  We are constantly on the go, but we need to be more intentional about our actual physical well being.  

How ironic that September happens to be National Health Observances month for ALL ages!  

I am sharing an amazing, helpful site with you for healthy movement for ALL ages, from kids to teens to adults to those of us who are aging, including childhood obesity awareness, healthy food choices and more!  We can ALL benefit from checking out this link about September National Health Observances.  

Here’s to health and more exercise,

Heidi

August 26, 2023 – All Sorts of Things

As I watch August disappear and September roll into view, I once again am taken aback at how much I DIDN’T get done this summer!  There is so much on my mind!!! I have a little “Squirrel Syndrome” going on right now jumping from thought to thought.  There is always an ongoing list of “things I need to get done”, right???  I am pulling out my to-do lists and re-energizing myself as I attempt to attend to them this fall. At the top of my list is my ongoing effort to declutter my home.  I am deeply grateful to my Dad and oldest sister who have energy to spare and who have both kept me going as we held a garage sale this week to get rid of the last boxes of well-loved items from my mother-in-law’s life and from our own piles of unneeded items.  It feels so great to declutter and to know I’m leaving just a little less behind each time I clean out stuff for my kids to deal with someday.  I confess that every time I travel I pray for protection, then tell God my deep desire to return home and clean out our far basement that has become the-place-where-all-unused-things-go-to-perish until I can get to them so my kids don’t have to face it.  Know the feeling?  I was thankful as a young, overwhelmed mom when Fly Lady came into my life at the recommendation of a friend.  Fly Lady (so named because she loves fly fishing) helped break down tasks into doable pieces and made me feel like I was doing a great job and that I was enough just as I was.  Check out the web site if you want a fresh start organizing your home this fall!  My mental health is boosted just knowing that boxes and boxes of garage sale items will never return to my home!  And as an added incentive, this next article talks about the actual connection between Clutter and Mental Health. Minimizing is good for our souls!

As the end of the year approaches, I have also been thinking about my health priorities. I need to schedule my colonoscopy! Have you scheduled your regular exams yet this year?  Regular check-ups, mammograms, dermatology visits and colonoscopies are miraculous ways to detect health problems, cancer and other issues early, before they can’t be addressed.  Do you have an existing health condition? Now is the time to make sure we’re all caught up on our appointments!  As much as I am NOT looking forward to my colonoscopy this year, I AM dedicated to doing my due diligence to safeguard my health.  The tale of two of my friends and their colonoscopies have very different endings.  A nursing friend detected her colon cancer early enough to have surgery and survive, while another friend’s young brother put off having a colonoscopy and it took his life. Some disease progression is unstoppable, but taking preventive measures can save lives. Call for your appointments today!

As I flip the pages on my refrigerator calendar, I am also looking ahead to fall programming for the Care Ministries team. And fall has arrived!  Dates will be out soon for Parish Visitor information and training sessions, so please prayerfully consider if visitation or bringing home communion to our at-home members is something that is laid on your heart. Those who already participate find it blesses them as much as it blesses the recipients, and our community becomes richer as relationships deepen.

Another fall offering will be a repeat of the Ending Life Well session that was held this spring at the Minneapolis campus.  This fall it will be held at the Minnetonka campus, and it is loaded with great information everyone should know about end of life planning regardless of age.  Look for dates and times in a future Care Message and on the web site.

And of course, still on my mind is the devastation in Maui from wildfires.  Here are the links to two reputable sites where you can donate to support the recovery efforts if this is something that moves your heart.  My heart goes out to the victims.    

Hawaii Wildfires – Red Cross Providing Shelter, Comfort to Victims (msn.com)

U.S. Wildfires – Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (elca.org) 

With a head full of things to talk about, and gratitude for your listening ears!

Heidi

August 19, 2023 – Maui

It was the summer of 2011.  Our strong and courageous daughter Mari was working for her third summer at Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp in Colorado as a Compass Points Director, meaning she led groups into the mountains for week long camping retreats.  After three weeks of intense training, the first week of on-site and Compass Points campers began arriving.  Parents were gathered with their kids in the outdoor pavilion with luggage and sleeping bags scattered around as the camp staff began checking kids in and helping them choose the village they would belong to for the week.  Kids were excited and nervous and staff was joyfully greeting return campers and warmly welcoming the new kiddos.  The trek to the cabins hadn’t even begun yet when the official word arrived at camp to EVACUATE!  Fires had suddenly crept up to the area camp is located, and parents had to make split second decisions whether to take their children home or entrust them to the staff as buses were loaded and brought their passengers down the mountain to the high school gym of a neighboring town.  Because their gear was still gathered in the pavilion, campers were able to load up their gear as the majority of them stayed on for the week. Staff had to evacuate from the pavilion with none of their possessions.  It was terrifying and adrenaline was pumping.  Everyone was safely evacuated, but staff had only the clothes on their backs for days as they valiantly led kids in a joyful camp experience. The surrounding community and families jumped into action to provide essentials to support the staff and keep camp running.  A neighboring camp, Horn Creek, miraculously had space open up at their site and graciously offered it to RTLC to use until they returned to their own site many weeks later.  Several days into the ordeal, Mari was one of a handful of camp leaders allowed to return to camp dressed in full protective gear under the direction of the forest service to retrieve staff essentials from their cabins.  Those months were stressful and uncertain as the fires burned.  The end result was a miraculous bubble of protection surrounding camp. The fires burned to the literal edge of camp, flames licking the storage shed at the archery station and the surrounding land looking like a moonscape with not a single tree or speck of grass left, but not one building burned, not one person was hurt, and after many weeks at Horn Creek, camp was able to resume on site.

That summer of fire goes down in history for our family and for camp as traumatic, stressful, uncertain and miraculous.  The logistics of clean up and repair were unbelievable and constantly ongoing to make even the untouched camp site safe for habitation again.  So I watch from afar with compassion and sadness as stories of devastation pour out of Maui.  Our daughter was safe, camp returned to normal eventually, and life went on for all of us.  Not so in Maui.  The loss of life is mounting, the number of missing is overwhelming, and the devastation and trauma will impact the people of Maui for generations to come.  

Dear friends, WE have the opportunity to make a difference.  We may seem to be a world away in Minnesota, but our support can help rebuild Maui.  Here are two trusted places to consider donating to if you are in a position to support the relief efforts financially:

U.S. Wildfires – Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (elca.org)

Hawaii Wildfires – Red Cross Providing Shelter, Comfort to Victims (msn.com)

Thank you for being the wonderful, supportive congregation of Bethlehem Lutheran Church Twin Cities.   I am always touched and encouraged as I see the many ways this family in Christ rises to the challenges that surround us and become the hands and feet of Christ in our own neighborhoods and around the globe.  So thank you for being a light to Maui at this time.  What a blessing you are to this world.

With deep gratitude,

Heidi

August 12, 2023 – Be Still

“Be still and know I am God.”

This is just one of the Bible verses set to music that we sing at the camp where I am as I write this week. It has been running through my head constantly this week, almost like a mantra.  I have been thinking deeply about the funerals being held at Bethlehem this past week, and holding grief in my heart for the families and friends of the loved ones we have lost. Some I didn’t know personally, while some have been part of my life since I was born or in youth group at the Minnetonka campus. My heart hurts that I am not able to be physically present with these families, but I am trusting that they are surrounded by love and support by our faith community and those who love them.  And I am holding myself accountable to support them after I return home.

Grief is never ending.  I learned this truth when my young brother-in-law and my young cousins died and in second grade when our neighbor’s son died in Viet Nam and when my mom and my in-laws and many other loved ones have died. We somehow wake up every morning and go through the days and then the weeks and then the months in spite of the grief. We learn to carry it with us and walk along beside it. I remember my beloved Dad telling me after Mom died that he misses Mom terribly and always will, but he was going to find joy in life again. I look to his strength and example and determination to model my grief after.  

Dear faithful friends, I pray that each of us is able to reach out in compassion to our families in Christ to support them in their deep grief.  A card, a meal, a walk, a hug can make a huge difference.  We don’t need to move mountains, but helping our loved ones take one step forward day by day will move mountains in their lives. No words or advice will take away their grief, but our presence will help them carry it.

Be still and know,

Heidi  

August 5, 2023 – Living Longer for ALL Ages

I am on a mission.  Our sweet 4 year old granddaughter has been asking us for months if we have gotten her a big girl bed yet.  Her little sister occupies the crib for nap time that she used to use when we watched her, and if we have the girls for overnights it has always been at their house, but our sweetie pie wants her own big girl bed at Gma and Farfar’s house and she doesn’t let us forget it.  So, I have been cleaning out the crib room which also doubles as my office to prepare for the Big Exciting Sleepover.  Mind you, this room holds my huge desk which hasn’t been used for eons but becomes a storage space for all things.  It also houses a great deal of my work life as I have worked mostly remotely since the days of isolation.  So it has become that room that you close the door on when company comes to visit! 

As I have been going through all of the hidden treasure as well as the not-so-treasured items, I ran across an intentionally saved article from AARP.  From 2017.  It is so great that I will continue to save it!  The article is 50 Ways to Live a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life and it applies to ALL ages, not just the over 50 crowd.  It is a list of easily applicable things to do to live longer and healthier.  Many of us incorporate some of the tips into our lives already, but I was energized and inspired to be more intentional about some of the items that I don’t focus on as much.  

Did you know vacationing regularly and embracing your faith and watching funny cat videos and taking the stairs and practicing home fire drills and reading more and finding your purpose and getting rid of throw rugs and experiencing the wonder of the natural world and eating less sugar are just some of the easy ways to add years to your life expectancy?  So many simple things can have a huge impact! Do you have smoke and carbon monoxide detectors installed in your home? Have you tested for radon or worry about lead paint in an older home? Take a trip to the hardware store and grab those detectors and kits.  You could be lengthening your life!   The tip I’m most focused on right now is finding my purpose.  It includes supporting my family and gives me a reason to get up every day and something to look forward to.  The tip I want to start doing more of is vacationing!  We go-go-go a lot, but rarely do we take a week or a long weekend to just BE and relax. If a week at a cabin adds years to my life, I’m all in!

Take a few minutes and browse the article. While some new research may have surfaced, the cited research is still worthy, even if it is from 2017.  And you may just wander into some other great information while you’re on the site!  Pat yourself on the back for the things you’re already doing, and pick a couple of others to try.  Adding years to our lives can be an adventure!

Patting myself on the back,

Heidi    

July 29, 2023 – Building a Village for Young Families

I am pooped!  When we use that phrase in the presence of our joy filled four year old granddaughter, she laughs and laughs and says, “You said pooped!!!”,  and then laughs and giggles some more. There’s usually an entire in-depth conversation following about why we say “pooped” when we’re exhausted with lots and lots of follow up questions.  I had several similar conversations with this delightful child last weekend while I had full charge of her and her equally darling 20 month old sister.  Mommy and Daddy spent a well deserved weekend away with friends, and Farfar (grandpa Mark) was out of town, so I had the pleasure of spending a happy, busy, activity filled weekend with my sweetie pies.  Their amazing 91 year old Grampy (Dad to me) hung out with us much of the weekend and even took on book reading and game playing duties as I made dinners or gave baths.  He also got involved in playground duty as we kept our little ones safe while they wore off some preschool energy.  By Sunday night I was, yes, very pooped!  I was happy and content that I had kept them alive and happy, but I hardly did a thing on Monday as I rested and recovered.

Whenever I watch our babies, I think back to my own parenting days.  I was so much younger and had much more stamina, but I also recall wondering almost every single day why I just couldn’t get much else done besides caring for my little kids.  Then I covered this weekend of child care for my dear son and daughter-in-law and I see why again firsthand.  How do young families do it these days?  Getting kids of all ages bundled up and out the door to school or daycare so parents can get to work on time is an art of gentle discipline and routine and hope that everything happens without a meltdown.  Trying to keep up with all of the after school activities and schoolwork that seems much more complicated than when I was in school requires mountains of patience and time as bellies are hungry and blood glucose levels are falling and dinner needs to be made and laundry needs to be done and dishes washed and sleepy heads need to get in bed for a full night of sleep before starting it all over again the next day.  

Our family is fortunate.  We are blessed that our kids love having us in their lives, and that we live close enough to be involved and supportive.  We can get to them in under 15 minutes and we can help at a moment’s notice. Grammy and Papa, the equally doting other set of grandparents, willingly fly in as able to cover child care and be involved in their lives as well. The aunties and uncle smother the girls with love and attention. The great aunties find perfect gifts and clothes for their developmental needs and make efforts to get to know these little bundles of joy and be part of their lives.  

But not all young families have a village like we do. Through the years there have been plenty of families in our life that don’t have extended family in the area or their families are not as able to be involved in helping with the kids. We’ve provided occasional after school care or been on approved lists to pick up and drop off kids from school for neighbors and friends who need a little help.  We’ve covered day care for sick kids whose parents don’t have other backup options or made hotdog or pancake dinners for grade school neighbors when mom and dad ended up working later than expected. We certainly haven’t “been there” for every single young family in our neighborhood or our circle, but we do what we can when asked. 

These past four years with grandkids have been some of the best, most delightful years of our lives.  Once again I am reminded daily how important it is to support young families in any way possible. Consider “adopting” a young family in your neighborhood or church community.  Babysitting not your thing?  Surprise a young family with Dairy Queen gift cards or tickets to a movie theater.  Invite a young family over for coffee on a Saturday morning or dinner on a weeknight so they can have a night off of prepping and cooking a meal.  Or show up at their door with a freezable meal that they can throw in the oven on a hectic night. Do you still have a book or game or toy that your kids loved when they were little that you could lend to a family for an entertaining change of pace?  Do you have a garden or hydrangea bush?  Bring them a bouquet of flowers or fresh vegetables grown with love. There are a thousand little ways for us to support young families that don’t take a huge commitment of time or money, but the payoff is huge.  Simply showing an interest in them and engaging in conversation helps them feel connected and noticed, and that is something everyone can do for free.      

If you are a young family, remember that people are willing to jump in and help if asked.  Sometimes people who are beyond child raising years get busy with their own worlds and may assume that you don’t ever need help but would be honored to help if asked.  Creating a village is a valuable asset for everyone. 

On the outside chance you want to engage in an activity together, or gift a young family with an outing, this list of Things To Do from Explore Minnesota is chock full of ideas.  Check it out! 

From my village to yours,

Heidi

July 22, 2023 – Super Powers

I went for a lovely walk around Lake Harriet this week with one of my closest high school friends. Our high school group of seven usually gets together for full group activities, but this member of the group does not live in state and is intentional about getting together with each of us individually when she is in town.  As we walked and talked, I was deeply touched when she shared that although she is currently single and has gone through a lot in the last three years, she never feels alone. She has surrounded herself with a network of friends and family that she can call on at any moment for help or to hang out with or to bounce things off of at any time. It really hit home to me how her intentionality has created a safety net of support for her. Loneliness is not something she experiences much at all. What a gift!

I started thinking about my safety net, and I also began pondering who considers me their  safety net. When I’m in a group that uses the question “What is your superpower?” as an ice breaker, I like to claim that “I’m there in a pinch” is mine. My circle knows that they can call me day or night and I will be there for them as much as I can be.  I drop what I’m doing and go.  I love knowing that there are people who know they can count on me for support.  

Loneliness has become pervasive.  Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy says that loneliness and its side effects has become as serious a health issue as smoking and obesity are in the United States. How do we combat loneliness?  I love how my friend took an active role in creating her own support group.  However, many people just don’t know where to begin, or can’t get out of their homes to see people, or sadly as we age friends start dying or having health issues and can’t “be there” for us like they once were.

Would you like your super power to be that you are somebody’s someone?  Do you want to be a beacon of hope in someone’s loneliness?  The need for visitors is great! The Care Ministry team will be hosting information sessions this fall (dates to be determined) for those who are curious about just what visitation looks like, what it takes to be a visitor, and if it is something that appeals to them.  Ponder whether this is something you would like to consider doing, and keep your eyes open for dates.

In the meantime, here’s to your super power!

Heidi

July 15, 2023 – Hope

Mark and I returned late, late at night last Sunday from our week at camp in Colorado. We are exhausted but also re-energized after a week of experiencing God’s grace surrounding us. Every morning at camp there is a fun, child-friendly outdoor worship service with active, “stand-up” songs. During this service, a counselor gives their SWIT…short for Staff Witness. It’s a growth experience for camp staff, as well as a look into the lives of young adults in today’s world for the family campers. The stories tell of their challenges and triumphs and of God’s presence in their lives.  

Every year these staff witnesses touch my heart deeply.  One in particular brought me to tears this year. The staff member giving their witness was a wonderful young college student, telling of the loss of six friends… SIX!!!..to suicide. He and I shared tears and heartbreak later in the week and talked about his deep loss.  

Mental health issues are an epidemic. They come in every shape and form from anxiety to depression to suicide and a myriad of other diagnoses. I recognize how anxiety and seasonal depression impact my own life and so many of the lives in my nearest and dearest. I am thankful that because of my position at Bethlehem I have become involved in our mental health ministry and in Mental Health Connect which both offer accessible resources and mental health education opportunities to anyone seeking them. 

Is mental health an interest or a passion of yours?  Your Care Ministries team is always seeking people who are interested in joining the BLC Mental Health and Addiction Ministry Team, as well as those interested in representing Bethlehem as an ambassador to the Mental Health Connect  collaborative.  Please contact Diane Waarvik ([email protected]) or Heidi Peterson ([email protected]) if you’d like to have a conversation about either of these opportunities to impact the lives of many.  

If you are seeking help for your own mental health needs or those of a loved one, please know that these resources are available to you and to them.  Contact Mental Health Connect to speak with a navigator who will listen to your needs and help direct you to appropriate resources. It is free, it is confidential, and you do not need to have a diagnosis to receive support.

With hope,

Heidi

July 8, 2023 – IF You Go

My honey and I have been in our home-away-from-home the past week: we spent the week at Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp in the beautiful Sangre de Cristo mountain range for Family Camp.  This year we drove out a day early and stayed with our beloved daughter-in-law’s parents’ home for two nights.  They welcomed us with grace and open arms.  We had a fun day co-grandparenting at a local splash pad then spending the evening with the “kids’ ” close friends. Our dear daughter and her significant other made a bonus appearance which thrilled this Momma’s heart.  It was an idyllic day for any parent.

Sunday morning Mark and I attended church with Kirsten and her mom.  Her retired pastor father was supply preaching, and we love every opportunity we get to hear him.  The sermon centered on Moses and his fear and resistance to go back to Egypt to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go. The message struck deep as Pastor Ron related Moses to us serving in today’s world.  He spoke about God equipping us with gifts to serve even if we don’t think we’re equipped, and then he added, “And IF we go.”  Those words pierced my heart. “IF we go!” Tears blurred my vision. I realized that with my increased social anxiety from Covid isolation, I have not been “going” where God is leading me.  I have gifts bestowed on me that I have found every reason to avoid using recently.  My heart was convicted and empowered and called.  God was speaking to me!

What are your gifts? Some of us feel that acknowledging our gifts is arrogant, but when we humbly search our hearts and see what we are passionate about and what talents or skills we have developed or pursued, we can imagine where God might be leading us to serve.  I see servant hearts everywhere at Bethlehem. Behind the scenes projects fixing and beautifying our campuses, coffee and funeral servers blessing grieving families and creating a sense of community on Sunday mornings, ushers making sure people feel welcome, church council and call committee servants making sure the business end of our church keeps moving us forward, Starfish and Habitat for Humanity and SALT and Healing Touch volunteers making a difference in lives, home visitors and communion bearers bringing church and community to those unable to get to a physical building.  This is by no means an exhaustive list!  I have definitely not included every opportunity to serve at Bethlehem, so please take no offense if your role was not mentioned. We see you all and are grateful for you!  Each and every volunteer is the hands and feet of Jesus to our community. It’s a beautiful thing!

If you are feeling the tug to “Go” and serve, please know that there is always a place for you at Bethlehem.  Please feel free to contact your church office and we will plug you in.  

Reenergized and ready to follow my calling,

Heidi 

July 1, 2023 – Breathe Deep, But Not TOO Deep!

The other day as I left my house I thought, “Someone’s house is on fire, or SOMETHING is burning!  Why don’t I hear sirens?”  I actually got in my car and drove towards the smoke to see if a call to 9-1-1 was necessary, then realized it was everywhere.  The haze was covering the entire neighborhood.  I could see it engulfing the synagogue down the block, and surrounding the junior high school across the street.  It was smoke from the Canadian wildfires.  

Soon after that I learned that Minnesota had the worst air quality that day in the country.  The amount of particulate matter in the air, if breathed in for an hour, was equal to smoking an entire pack of cigarettes!  Evening outdoor activities in several communities were canceled because this level of particulate is dangerous to breathe.  And if you are at risk with cardiac conditions or asthma or COPD or other pulmonary conditions, it is especially harmful.  It has, in fact, been linked to cardiac incidents.  You can check the air quality index in Hennepin County at this Minnesota Pollution Control Agency website, or pay attention to the daily news reports that inform us of the day’s air quality and what precautions to take. Don’t hesitate to wear a mask if the air is impacting you, or stay inside if you need to. The health impacts are real, and could go on for much of the summer.

Please take necessary precautions to stay healthy in these coming days as the fires are fought to our north!  If the air quality happens to be decent on July 9th, and if you are a BlueGrass fan, consider heading to Elim Lutheran Church in Robbinsdale for a BlueGrass Festival, rain or shine!  Proceeds will be donated to Mental Health Connect.  Check out this site for information on food tickets, time and place.

Thankful for every breath I can take,

Heidi

June 24, 2023 – “I Like to Eat Eat Apples and Bananas”

I was so happy last Sunday when we came home from a weekend watching our beloved babies to find a much anticipated delivery waiting for me!  Anyone else LOVE getting packages delivered?  Even though I knew exactly what was in this box, I was especially excited because it held the next step in my quest for improved health.  Drum roll: I finally ordered supplements and a protein powder specifically geared for my nutritional needs. So exciting, isn’t it?  

My hubby and I have made it a priority to lose some weight this year after Covid months at home contributed to grazing and gaining extra unwanted pounds.  I’ve made progress, but I’m especially proud of Mark for diligently avoiding processed foods and sugars while he focused on correct portions of protein and fruits and vegetables all day long.  We have contributed in so many ways to improving our health by losing some excess pounds. Maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle decreases a person’s chance of heart disease, diabetes, other chronic diseases, joint pain and so much more. We have so much to live for, and we want to live long and in good health! 

Even though we’ve increased the amount of vegetables and fruits we’re stocking our fridge with these days, I’m finding I still just don’t quite get enough servings of fruit and veggies every single day, so I’m starting with supplements until I get there.  I’m also using the MyPlate website from the U.S. Department of Agriculture for inspiration and information.  Remember the Food Pyramid we used to live by?  Well, it has now become the extremely easy and practical MyPlate program which features a plate divided into correct portions of vegetables, fruits, protein and starches. It’s a great visual tool, and I am a visual, hands-on learner so I love it.  The website has wonderful, easy to understand information and fantastic recipes.  MyPlate even has an app you can download onto your phone to track your nutritional intake and set attainable goals for things like your veggie or fruit intake.  It happens to be MyPlate’s 12th Birthday so they also have fun ways to celebrate with them and reach your own nutritional goals.  

As I write this article, I have had the song “I Like to Eat Eat Apples and Bananas” running constantly through my mind. (Cute song, but not so fun for an hour!) I am happy to say that I am also munching on a beautiful bowl of strawberries to get me to my fruit intake goal for the day. Much more delightful!  It’s a small, easy but crucial step in the right direction. I encourage you to check out MyPlate and join me in the quest for better health. 

Here’s to eating your apples and bananas!

Heidi

June 17, 2023 – Just a Phone Call Away

A few months ago, my amazing Dad and I drove an hour away to visit someone we love. When we arrived, Loved One was lying on the floor. We’ll never know for sure just how long they were lying there, but they were in rough shape. We called the ambulance and they were transported to the hospital where, sure enough, they discovered a broken hip. 

We all have personal experiences or stories we’ve heard about people home alone who have fallen and lie alone on the floor for days. There are also the stories about people who live alone with a multitude of needs who haven’t fallen yet someone is worried about their state of well-being, or a family with an elder who needs extra support but they can’t be with them every day or the family lives too far away to care for them.

Sound familiar?  Have you ever found yourself in this situation? Was there a loved one who wasn’t answering the phone, or who called and told you they had fallen, or the call indicated that something was just not right?  Have you called and called your loved one and gotten no answer for hours or days on end? Are you the family member or friend of someone who needs support but you live too far away to be the caregiver?  What do we do in these seemingly hopeless situations?

A recent experience reminded me of the great resource everyone has in their local police department.  My honey is a retired police sergeant, and he reminded me that the police department happily and frequently answers calls for welfare checks. If someone isn’t answering their phone or door and you are worried about their well-being, or something sounds off when you are talking to them on the phone, or they have sent a plea for help, it is ALWAYS okay to call 9-1-1 and request a welfare check on someone. If the person who needs the welfare check lives in a different area than your police department, try 9-1-1 and request a transfer to that area’s dispatcher if possible, or look up the non-emergency number for the town or city they live in and give them a call. Remember to give all the information you know regarding what is happening.  They will ask questions, but if there are special circumstances such as mental health issues, make sure they know everything necessary so they can bring appropriate support persons with them if needed.  

If you have a loved one who needs support, you can always turn to your Bethlehem Care Team  for resources and help. I once worked for a company who provided companion care for these very reasons.  I spent many lovely hours running errands for people or bringing them on outings or making meals for them and simply just BEING with them.  I loved these people and their families loved knowing there was someone watching over them. There are many options to help care for your loved ones, and we can give you guidance and help finding the right match for what they need. 

Never feel alone!  There are many resources available, and your Care Team is here to help you find them. Diane Waarvik and I will gladly work with you to navigate care needs and resources.

Just a phone call away,

Heidi

June 10, 2023 – Brain Health

The other day I left the house to run errands. As I climbed into the car I realized that I was still holding the empty toilet paper roll that I had intended to throw away on my way out the door.  

I laughed at myself, then started thinking about my brain.  From the bathroom counter to the door is about a 5 second walk, and I had already spaced out throwing that roll away right under the bathroom sink.  “Wow!” I thought. “I am on overdrive today!”   Little incidences like this happen to all of us a lot, but I really started pondering brain health and how to keep my brain healthy and thriving.  I have a deep desire to live a long healthy life so I can watch my kids and granddaughters go through life and so I can be there to support them. They are my world, and I want to stay in that world as long as I can!

Because June is Brain Health Awareness Month, I thought this was a perfect topic this week as I was thinking about my own brain function. I have already started to see several posts on Instagram and Facebook about brain health.  I follow Maria Shriver on Instagram. She is a well known advocate for Alzheimer’s research and support, and her fun little “brain exercise” that she shared this week to promote brain health was to switch hands and use your non-dominant hand to do tasks you usually assign to your dominant hand, like brushing your teeth or cutting your food.  This simple exercise stimulates your brain and strengthens it.  So easy!  My kids and Mark and I do the daily Wordle puzzle together, and 2 of my sisters and I Wordle, Quordle, Octordle and Blossom together every day from our different locations around the country.  On mornings that I’m available to meet my Dad for coffee you’ll find us at a table at Caribou doing Word Jumbles and Cryptoquips together.  My family is obviously passionate about our word games!  But games like these or Sudoku or a myriad of other brain games help exercise those brain connections and keep our brains sharp, and playing them together keeps us connected even in this small way every day. 

There are other great habits to incorporate into your daily life as well.  Although AARP is usually associated with those over 50, here are ​8 Habits That Are Good for Brain Health  from their website that are great to establish at any age to go with you through life:

1. Stay socially engaged
2. Quit smoking
3. Find ways to stimulate your brain
4. Manage stress
5. Stay physically active
6. Get enough sleep (aim for at least seven hours)
7. Eat a healthy diet
8. Control blood pressure and blood sugar levels

Source: Global Council on Brain Health/CDC

Interested in more information about memory and stress and brain health? Check out Brain Health – Memory and Stress (more from aarp.org)  and Alzheimer’s.org. (When on this site you will find more great ideas for promoting brain health after scrolling through the promotions to wear purple this month and to support the cause.  All noble and worthy information, but the health tips are a ways down.)

And in case you’ve worried like I have about  Sleeping Next to Your Phone and your brain health, this article from livestrong.com will reassure you.  It is one habit I haven’t been able to break (my excuse is that my phone is my clock) so I was very relieved to read this!

May your future be filled with word games,

Heidi

June 3, 2023 – Summer!

IT’S SUMMER!!!  I am SO happy!!!  The blue skies, that sunshine, the frogs singing in the pond behind my house at night…they all just fill me with sheer joy, and because we are fresh off of a holiday that officially announces the beginning of summer for me, I’m basking in a Memorial Day weekend that was simply delightful. 

For most of my married years (39 and counting!), Memorial Day weekend meant overnight work shifts for me at Children’s hospital, then for my honey after the kids were born and he went into police work.  My beloved parents always traveled to their hometown of Ortonville in western Minnesota to decorate the family graves for Memorial Day.  After Mom died, Dad and my devoted sister Robin and brother-in-law Dean took over the tradition. This year, for the first time, Mark and I were able to join in a soul fulfilling Saturday of decorating my ancestors’ graves. As we walked around the peace filled country cemetery followed by the equally peaceful town cemetery, stories were told at each gravesite as we placed flowers honoring relatives and telling the world that these people are LOVED. After lunch and visiting living relatives, Mark and I meandered home with Dad through town and on side roads, reliving life moments and memories and taking so many pictures of beloved places.  Sheer joy.

Sunday brought celebrations of high school graduates.  Murphy’s Law: we had exactly two graduation open houses to attend this year, and they were both on Sunday from 5:00-8:00, and half an hour drive time from each other. Go figure! But we were able to get to both of them in a timely manner and visit and catch up with so many people from our lives. More joy!

Then sunny Monday arrived. Mark is on the board of Groveland Cemetery, so we headed over to the cemetery early to set up the sound system and help get coffee and donuts organized for the Memorial Day ceremony. Rep. Patty Acomb gave a heartfelt tribute in honor of our military veterans to over 340 guests at this historic Minnetonka cemetery. (If you have never visited the cemetery or attended a Memorial Day service I invite you to attend next year.  It’s always at 9:00 a.m. on Memorial Day.  Easy to remember, and a wonderful way to honor our veterans!)

After the ceremony, we headed up to East Medicine Lake Beach to play in the sun and sand with those darling granddaughters of ours and their equally darling parents. When they went home for naptime, we headed to Fort Snelling to have a picnic lunch beside the graves of Mark’s parents, Rich and Jewyll Peterson. 2100 volunteers had placed flags at every headstone after they read out loud to the world and the wind the rank and name of each soldier.  The impact of seeing all of those flag decorated tombstones is simply awe inspiring. 

We then headed back to the kids’ to grill and just BE. The weekend was glorious and joyful and relaxing and inspiring. AND it was sunny and hot!  Summer has arrived, people!  After hibernating inside or being covered from head to toe outside this winter, we need a whole new approach to staying healthy and avoiding the perils of our coveted summer sunshine!  

PLEASE check out the links below for tips on staying sunburn free, bug bite free, hydrated and drown proofed!  I know we’ll be at the beach with our sweet granddaughters all summer. Not only do I fret if they are the least bit tinted pink from the sun, I do NOT want to deal with a drowning incident!  There are even tips below for healthy foods and natural options that help avoid cancer causing sunburn. Who knew? We may think we know it all, then helpful new information comes to light. 

So here’s to enjoying that sunshine with health in mind! Drink your water, use your sunscreen and bug repellant, and check out healthy non-chemical options to have an even healthier summer!

Tips for a Healthy Summer | CDC

Summer Safety Home – National Safety Council (nsc.org)

Summer Safety Tips | American Red Cross

“Every day, an average of 11 people die in the U.S. from unintentional drowning — and one in five of those are children 14 or younger according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The Red Cross wants everyone to know critical safety knowledge and skills that could save your life in and around the water. We encourage families to build confidence in the water by learning to be safe, making good choices, learning to swim and how to handle emergencies.”

10 Summer Wellness Tips for Healthy Living // Four Wellness Co.

May you have a sunny, safe and fun-filled summer!

Heidi

May 27, 2023 – Profound Impact

Every month I am privileged to meet with a group of amazing volunteers on the Mental Health Connect Outreach Team. We always take a moment during these monthly meetings to share what is going on in each faith community that is represented. The energy and commitment to mental health can be felt in these gatherings. This week, committee members specifically shared the events that they were holding during Mental Health Awareness month. The passion to make a difference in people’s mental wellbeing is inspiring.  Bethlehem’s own Mental Health Ministry and Addiction Team held a wonderful event this month, several of our members attended the Stories of Hope fundraiser, and our campuses are hosting information tables that provide information and resources for mental health challenges. 

There is SO much information available on Mental Wellbeing out there!  And there are SO many worthy events one could attend!  How does one get to it all and absorb it all?  Sometimes it makes my head spin.  Then this week two achievable things came to my attention. First, I found this great challenge from Mental Health America that is SO important and such a great reminder that we need to get outside more for the sake of our mental health. Like it points out, “The benefits of time outside to our mental well-being are profound – but not well known.” Profound! That’s saying something! The article offers great doable tips that every single person can integrate into their own life on their own time for profound benefits!  I don’t intend to sign up formally for the challenge, but I DO intend to heed the advice and suggestions offered, especially now with beautiful weather right outside my door. Secondly, I attended a seminar put on by MHealth that stressed the importance of moving, sleeping, decreasing our stress, good nutrition and continued learning for brain health.  These basics are steps that each of us can employ in our own daily lives.  

There really are easy, practical ways to improve our health!  Begin with focusing on moving… walk around the block, go up and down your staircase, and park away from store doors when running errands to get more steps in your day. If possible, get outside in nature to take advantage of all of the health benefits it offers. (See above link from Mental Health America.) Then drink more water, eat more fruits and vegetables, and cut back on high fat foods and refined sugars.  At night time, limit “sleep interrupters” like caffeine and alcohol, and make sure you have a wonderful pillow and a decent mattress for a good night’s sleep.  Sleep is known as “mental floss”. It helps flush out the toxins that build up in the brain that can contribute to memory loss. It is vital!  And then try learning that new thing you’ve been dreaming about:  try a new language with any one of the great apps available or take an in-person class; learn a new skill like knitting or woodworking; take a class through community education or the Arboretum or an art studio, and expand your brain.  Your future self will thank you!

In honor of our mental well-being,

Heidi

May 20, 2023 – Lessons

It’s been an exciting week for me. We had the most delicious hamburgers at my son and daughter-in-law’s on Sunday (Andrew’s secret: Worcestershire sauce!) and just enjoyed hanging out together all day. We also had a fun midday visit watching Twins’ baseball with my Dad, and really practiced Sabbath rest. Then.. night time came along. I felt weird, and sure enough, in the middle of the night, I experienced classic appendicitis symptoms: Lower Right Quadrant pain with rebound tenderness (meaning that there was not only pain when pushing down on my abdomen, but there was pain when it popped back into place) and a little nausea. Of course I decided to wait until morning to see if I was REALLY having this pain, and when morning came along she told me I was quite possibly experiencing an appendicitis attack. But my symptoms were milder than during the night, and I put off the inevitable. 

So, I packed a hospital bag, then went into work to help with a project to prepare for the Tuesday night Care Ministries session on Planning for End of Life. When copies were made and in order for our handout packets, I looked at Diane Waarvik and told her I thought I would go to the ER to get checked out. She thought that was a VERY good idea! 

Do as I say, not as I do lesson one:  DON’T wait to go to an emergency room or your doctor for ANY questionable symptoms of any health issue. I was lucky my appendix wasn’t ruptured, (intense pain!) but because of that my low level of pain in the morning had me questioning if this was really my appendix.  I should have gone in immediately in the morning!

A few hours later, with acute appendicitis confirmed, I was checked into a room and scheduled for surgery Tuesday morning. The staff was lovely and helpful and we had many wonderful conversations.  And God Thing: my sweet evening aide had grown up working with her family in the State Fair booth next to our family’s booth, so it was like a fair family reunion for us! That got me into a text chain with her mom expressing grief over her brother’s untimely death from stage four colon cancer in his fifties.  

Very sad lesson learned:  Schedule regular colonoscopies, dear ones! Colon cancer  DOES happen to regular, unsuspecting people and impacts their families forever.

Tuesday morning I was prepped for surgery. My surgical prep nurse asked me all of the usual questions, including “do you have an Advance Directive filled out?” I stared blankly at her, then stumbled over my answer to her. “You aren’t going to believe this, but I’m actually supposed to be helping with a presentation on Advance Directives TONIGHT, and I am a huge advocate for pre-planning your own end-of-life decisions… and I don’t have my own filled out!!!” It was the first time I stopped to consider that I had completely overlooked filling out my OWN Advance Directive! I have helped others walk through the process, I have pointed the way for people, but I have never filled out my own!  And here I lay, having a relatively low-risk medical procedure done, but there are no guarantees with ANY procedure that you are going to come out like I eventually did: healing and moving on with everyday life.  My nurse graciously told me that she has not gotten around to hers, either, so we made a pact that we would get that paperwork done.  Click HERE to find out what an Advance Directive is.

Do as I say, not as I do lesson two:  Fill out your Advance Directive, folks! And remember that you’re never too young to start planning for end-of-life decisions.

It’s not too late, friends.  Session 1 of Ending Well: Planning for End-of-Life has already happened, but Session 2 is coming up on Tuesday, May 23 at the Minneapolis campus. We will be covering funeral planning and wills and estate planning, and you can still get information on Advance Directives. Please join us! And don’t forget that this course will be offered again at the Minnetonka campus in the fall.

Getting ready to fill out my paperwork,

Heidi

May 13, 2023 – The Best Laid Plans

Things just don’t always go as planned.  Right before the world shut down for Covid, my honey Mark and I had planned a trip to Florida.  We were to spend a relaxing week with our relatives from Norway in an Air B & B.  We had our own private pool, we had lovely plans… and then our relatives realized they probably couldn’t get back into Norway if they came. Borders were closing and nothing was certain in the world. We also didn’t know if we would be able to travel, so the trip was canceled.  The owner of the property graciously gave us a full refund, but we missed out on our greatly anticipated fun week.  Of course we suffered no severe health issues during the pandemic, so we try not to whine about the trip that never was, but our happy reunion with our beloved relatives had to be put on hold.  

There are always so many things that just don’t work out the way WE plan them or want them to go, and not to be morbid, but regardless of age the ending of our lives is one of those things we just don’t have control over.  Or do we?

Join us Tuesday, May 16 and Tuesday, May 23 from 7:00-8:30 each evening to find out just how you CAN take control over what happens at the end of your life.  The Care Ministry Team has planned a two part information packed presentation about end-of-life planning to help YOU be in charge of everything from what measures you want taken if you fall ill, to what happens to your worldly goods when you are gone, to planning your funeral service.  Your loved ones will be blessed by the preparations you make now.

We would love to have you join us for this two part End of Life Planning session.  The May sessions will be held at the Minneapolis campus the next two weeks, then look for them again this fall at the Minnetonka campus.  You can register online at the link above or below.

Leaving a legacy,

Heidi

Register here:  Ending Well:  Planning for End-of-Life

May 6, 2023 – Be Prepared!

I’ve mentioned it before… one of the greatest gifts a person can give their loved ones is the gift of planning their own end-of-life details.  It may sound less than glamorous, but after experiencing the tragic and unexpected death of a beloved 46 year old brother-in-law in 1998, I realized the urgent importance of making OUR end-of-life plans.  Planning a funeral and picking out gravesites and figuring out finances was the last thing anyone wanted to do.  We just wanted to GRIEVE.  One needn’t be old to make these plans. If you are a living, breathing human being it’s time to make decisions. And the best timing of all is when you are healthy and able to make your own decisions.  Have worldly goods you want to go to your next of kin or best friend?  You need a will.  Have dependent children who you want to provide for in the instance of an untimely death?  You need a will. Have an estate you want to make sure gets into the right hands?  Time for a will and estate planning!  And just how do you want to be treated if you are ill but can’t make decisions any longer?  Now is the time to take matters into your own hands and fill out advance planning paperwork.

Lucky for us, the Bethlehem Twin Cities Care Team is presenting an Ending Well: Planning for End-of-Life  Series this month!  Come to this information packed two part series on May 16 and May 23 at Bethlehem’s Minneapolis campus from 7:00-8:30 each evening.  It will be repeated this fall in Minnetonka as well.  We will cover Advance Directives for end-of-life care decisions and funeral planning and wills and cremation and estate planning and we will answer as many questions as possible.  You will leave with information to help you start the process of leaving the greatest legacy possible: the gift of making your own end-of-life decisions.  

Check out this link to register (Ending Well: Planning for End-of-Life – Bethlehem Church (bethlehem-church.org), and we’ll see you there!

Doing it my way!

Heidi

P.S.  And remember…the coffee pot is on!  It’s not too late to sign up for the Stories of Hope breakfast fundraiser on May 11 for Mental Health Connect at Mt. Olivet, and I promise the food will be great and the speakers inspiring.

Mental Health Connect Stories of Hope Fundraiser – Bethlehem Church (bethlehem-church.org)

Your Care Ministries team is here for you. Please let us know how we can be present with you, how we can pray with you, how we can share in your journey. Please contact us.

The following is a list of resources available to you and your loved ones.

Bethlehem Sermon Phone Line
Did you know you can call to hear the latest Sunday and Wednesday Sermon recordings? Call the Bethlehem Sermon Phone Line @ 612-312-3363.

Bethlehem Pastor On Call
If you have a pastoral emergency, call 612-312-3400, follow the prompts to option 9. A pastor is on call 24 hours a day.

Starfish
Starfish helps people in temporary crises. If you are experiencing a financial crisis, cannot afford food, gas, rent, etc., call the Starfish Appointment Line at 952-686-4124.

Mental Health Connect
Living with mental health concerns can be tough. Finding help can be even tougher. Mental Health Connect can assist you in making the right connections. Call or Text 612-312-3377. Email [email protected].

COPE
If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis COPE can help.  Call **CRISIS (274747) from anywhere in the State of Minnesota to reach the local County crisis team.